To sleep...
I've been an insomniac all my life. Even as a child I couldn't fall asleep or sleep through the night. As I got older, it just got worse. It typically takes me two hours to fall asleep, then I wake up a few hours later. I average 4-6 hours on a good night. I'm used to it by now. I watch old movies. Read. When I lived alone I would clean the house or do laundry. I will TiVo pretty much anything that seems interesting because I know at 3 am my viewing choices are limited. (Curse all infomercials and thank god for TiVo.) Some things I'll only make it 5 minutes before I know it's dull. Other things I'll watch straight through while I wait for the cat to wake up or the sun to rise (usually the cat wakes up first).
The problem is that the older I get the harder it is to be awake all night. It's not as easy as it used to be to get by on only a few hours sleep a night, especially after a few nights in a row of being awake. It's harder to drag my tired butt out of bed in the morning...even harder because I don't have a job to get to so I lack that motivation. Given the choice, I'd sleep 'til noon if I could. But that just makes it more difficult to fall asleep that night.
But there are compensations. I like the quiet. The peace. I like curling up under a warm blanket and watching an old movie or some fascinating documentary where I learn something new. I like turning the pages of a good book, a sleeping kitty curled up on my tummy, with I Love Lucy getting into trouble quietly, in the background.
On cold nights, I'l make a cup of herbal tea or some cocoa and, for some reason, feel decadent. In the summertime I'll open the window and listen to the neighborhood cats do the tango in our backyard. I'll pad barefoot around the house, reading the BBC news at 2 am, responding to e-mail at dawn.
Tonight Husband will go to bed like a normal person. I'll set up my nest of pillows and blankets in the living room and select a DVD to watch. Or perhaps I'll read. Eventually I'll fall asleep, two hours later I'll be awake. I can pretty much guarantee that sometime between 2 and 4 I'll be awake, watching Lord Peter Wimsey solve a baffling case or lost in the pages of one of the three books I am currently reading. (Don't ask.) And it'll be quiet, and I'll be slightly jealous of everyone with a normal sleep pattern. But mostly I'll just be content with my coziness, my cat, my sleeping sweetie, and the fact that I will, at some points, finally get some sleep.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Frankly, my dear...
One of my favorite films of all time, Philadelphia Story, was on last night. Last week I ranted about how American speech has turned into crap. I’d have to say that holds true for movies as well.
Think of all the classic lines from the classic movies. “We’ll always have Paris.” “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.” “The stuff that dreams are made of.” “Rosebud.” “You know how to whistle, don’t you? You just put your lips together and blow.” “What we have here is a failure to communicate.”
Now think of any line from any movie of the past five years. Go on, I’ll wait.
Can’t do it, can you? OK, if you can you’ve either got a better memory than I, or you see a lot more movies. The last film I can recall that has a memorable line goes back over 10 years to Apollo 13 and Tom Hanks saying “Houston, we have a problem.”
I saw two recent movies in the past two weeks. The Golden Compass and The Namesake. I enjoyed both and couldn’t tell you anything that was said in either one. I’m a bit clearer on the latter film because I also just read the book, but in neither case was there one line of dialogue that lasted longer than the popcorn took to digest.
Why is that? Why is the history of Hollywood dotted with amazing lines and yet nothing in the past decade has lived up to that tradition? Has the dumbing down of American conversation moved into its movies, or have movies contributed to the demise of the English language? Or is it both? If movies reflect the times in which they are created I suppose it’s little wonder that contemporary filmmaking includes insipid dialogue. Perhaps it’s all part of my rant on how words have lost their magic, their sense of play and wonder. Whatever the cause, I miss movies where you walk out thinking “I wish I’d said that.”
One of my favorite films of all time, Philadelphia Story, was on last night. Last week I ranted about how American speech has turned into crap. I’d have to say that holds true for movies as well.
Think of all the classic lines from the classic movies. “We’ll always have Paris.” “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.” “The stuff that dreams are made of.” “Rosebud.” “You know how to whistle, don’t you? You just put your lips together and blow.” “What we have here is a failure to communicate.”
Now think of any line from any movie of the past five years. Go on, I’ll wait.
Can’t do it, can you? OK, if you can you’ve either got a better memory than I, or you see a lot more movies. The last film I can recall that has a memorable line goes back over 10 years to Apollo 13 and Tom Hanks saying “Houston, we have a problem.”
I saw two recent movies in the past two weeks. The Golden Compass and The Namesake. I enjoyed both and couldn’t tell you anything that was said in either one. I’m a bit clearer on the latter film because I also just read the book, but in neither case was there one line of dialogue that lasted longer than the popcorn took to digest.
Why is that? Why is the history of Hollywood dotted with amazing lines and yet nothing in the past decade has lived up to that tradition? Has the dumbing down of American conversation moved into its movies, or have movies contributed to the demise of the English language? Or is it both? If movies reflect the times in which they are created I suppose it’s little wonder that contemporary filmmaking includes insipid dialogue. Perhaps it’s all part of my rant on how words have lost their magic, their sense of play and wonder. Whatever the cause, I miss movies where you walk out thinking “I wish I’d said that.”
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Confessions of a World Music DJ
"So how did you get into world music?" the trainee asked me tonight.
When I first came to KZSU, I was planning on being a blues DJ. But there were two superb blues DJs on at the time and I was, quite frankly intimidated. So I fell into my second choice, world music.
I had two world music epiphanies that led me to that genre. The first came in Paris. I was visiting friends on my way to Africa and one of them put a CD on the stereo while we were getting ready to go out to dinner. It was Samedi Soir Sur La Terre by Francis Cabrel, and it was love at first sound. Everything about it just struck me, including the fact that I'd never be able to hear anything like this on American radio. I bought the CD at de Gaulle airport on my way to Malawi and it remains one of my favorite CDs still.
A few months later I was down in LA and heard an interview on the local PBS station with a singer/songwriter from Cameroon named Henri Dikongue. They played a few tracks from his release C'est La Vie and, again, I had to have it. I was able to find it a few weeks later.
Those two CDs were the beginning of my world music collection. And of my love affair. But when I started at the radio station, nearly 10 years ago, I knew next to nothing about the genre. I had heard of a few non-American artists; superstars like Caetano Veloso, Miriam Makeba, Ladysmith Black Mambazo. But not much else. Certainly not enough to do a 3-hour show once a week. My learning curve on this one was so steep that I lived in terror for the first year because every show required hours of preparation. I'd spend entire weekend days in the library, pulling CDs and listening. Finding new artists, following new threads. I discovered how wonderful compilation albums were for introducing me to people I liked. I found those areas of world music that I didn't particularly like (such as gamelan and reggae) and areas that I liked but would probably never play (Indian classical). And I learned that I'd chosen a genre of music where I would be forever doomed to mispronounce every artist on my playlist.
Now I'm the world music director; a job I for which I still feel unqualified. But I do it because I love it, because I love being on the air and doing a great show. (Which I do. Sorry, I can't have false modesty about this. It's not me, it's the music.) And every week I listen to new CDs by artists I've never heard of, and releases by old favorites. I still get a childlike thrill when I open the mail and see "oh wonderful, X has a new CD out!" or I hear some unknown and think "wow, this is amazing." There's nothing like discovering a new musician that speaks to you and it's worth all the occasional crap I have to listen to to find that one gem.
So here I am, 10 years later and a bit wiser (musically) and still loving the music I fell into. I'm so glad I was scared away from doing a blues show (though I love it on those occasions when I do one) because it forced me into a journey that excites me to this day. OK, so I know something about a really obscure (to most of the US. And most of my friends, come to think of it) area of music, but I'm actually proud of myself for the work I've put into the acquisition of that knowledge. And on nights like tonight, when I feel a sense of satisfaction after doing a good show, I think of that night in Paris when I heard music unlike any I'd heard before. And I have to smile. Because sometimes fate is just way too much fun.
"So how did you get into world music?" the trainee asked me tonight.
When I first came to KZSU, I was planning on being a blues DJ. But there were two superb blues DJs on at the time and I was, quite frankly intimidated. So I fell into my second choice, world music.
I had two world music epiphanies that led me to that genre. The first came in Paris. I was visiting friends on my way to Africa and one of them put a CD on the stereo while we were getting ready to go out to dinner. It was Samedi Soir Sur La Terre by Francis Cabrel, and it was love at first sound. Everything about it just struck me, including the fact that I'd never be able to hear anything like this on American radio. I bought the CD at de Gaulle airport on my way to Malawi and it remains one of my favorite CDs still.
A few months later I was down in LA and heard an interview on the local PBS station with a singer/songwriter from Cameroon named Henri Dikongue. They played a few tracks from his release C'est La Vie and, again, I had to have it. I was able to find it a few weeks later.
Those two CDs were the beginning of my world music collection. And of my love affair. But when I started at the radio station, nearly 10 years ago, I knew next to nothing about the genre. I had heard of a few non-American artists; superstars like Caetano Veloso, Miriam Makeba, Ladysmith Black Mambazo. But not much else. Certainly not enough to do a 3-hour show once a week. My learning curve on this one was so steep that I lived in terror for the first year because every show required hours of preparation. I'd spend entire weekend days in the library, pulling CDs and listening. Finding new artists, following new threads. I discovered how wonderful compilation albums were for introducing me to people I liked. I found those areas of world music that I didn't particularly like (such as gamelan and reggae) and areas that I liked but would probably never play (Indian classical). And I learned that I'd chosen a genre of music where I would be forever doomed to mispronounce every artist on my playlist.
Now I'm the world music director; a job I for which I still feel unqualified. But I do it because I love it, because I love being on the air and doing a great show. (Which I do. Sorry, I can't have false modesty about this. It's not me, it's the music.) And every week I listen to new CDs by artists I've never heard of, and releases by old favorites. I still get a childlike thrill when I open the mail and see "oh wonderful, X has a new CD out!" or I hear some unknown and think "wow, this is amazing." There's nothing like discovering a new musician that speaks to you and it's worth all the occasional crap I have to listen to to find that one gem.
So here I am, 10 years later and a bit wiser (musically) and still loving the music I fell into. I'm so glad I was scared away from doing a blues show (though I love it on those occasions when I do one) because it forced me into a journey that excites me to this day. OK, so I know something about a really obscure (to most of the US. And most of my friends, come to think of it) area of music, but I'm actually proud of myself for the work I've put into the acquisition of that knowledge. And on nights like tonight, when I feel a sense of satisfaction after doing a good show, I think of that night in Paris when I heard music unlike any I'd heard before. And I have to smile. Because sometimes fate is just way too much fun.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Photo of the day: King
A few years ago, wandering through an antique store in San Juan Bautista, Husband and I found this work honoring Dr. King. We bought it for Husband's beloved grandmother and sent it to her in Philadelphia. After she died, Husband's mother was cleaning out the house and put it aside for us. It came back to us this Christmas and now hangs in our music office.
It serves as a daily reminder to honor the legacy of Dr. King and all who fought in the Civil Rights battle. It's a great piece of inspiration to make a difference, to fight for what you believe in, and to remember that sometimes you have to make sacrifices to achieve something great.
Happy MLK day to all my friends. I am proud to know so many amazing people who do the right thing, and fight the good fight. Who give money and time. Who are active in changing the world. Who have an active social conscience and a good and generous heart.
And thank you to everyone, everywhere who has dedicated their life to human rights.
A few years ago, wandering through an antique store in San Juan Bautista, Husband and I found this work honoring Dr. King. We bought it for Husband's beloved grandmother and sent it to her in Philadelphia. After she died, Husband's mother was cleaning out the house and put it aside for us. It came back to us this Christmas and now hangs in our music office.
It serves as a daily reminder to honor the legacy of Dr. King and all who fought in the Civil Rights battle. It's a great piece of inspiration to make a difference, to fight for what you believe in, and to remember that sometimes you have to make sacrifices to achieve something great.
Happy MLK day to all my friends. I am proud to know so many amazing people who do the right thing, and fight the good fight. Who give money and time. Who are active in changing the world. Who have an active social conscience and a good and generous heart.
And thank you to everyone, everywhere who has dedicated their life to human rights.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
A day on, not a day off
So what are you doing tomorrow? Many people have the day off in honor of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Well our incoming president (yay!) and the King Center are asking America to make it a day of work, not a day of rest. They are urging people to spend the day volunteering in their community. I think it's a great idea.
You can find projects near you by visiting the USA Service website, or you can just start your own. I was going to do an extra shift at the shelter, but they're closed tomorrow. So Husband and I are going to grab some gloves and trash bags and find a stretch of beach, park, hiking trail, whatever....that needs a pick-up. Other options? Donate blood. Take the money you would have spent on a movie and popcorn and donate it to your favorite cause. Have a "I care for the environment" day....don't use your car, minimize your energy and water consumption. Or plant your own "victory garden" in your backyard to help green the planet, give you some yummy food in the coming months, and save you some money too.
There are so many ways of getting involved in the world. I urge you to find one that speaks to your heart and do it. An ongoing commitment would be wonderful, but just tomorrow is a good start.
Remember "if you're not part of the solution, you are part of the problem."
So what are you doing tomorrow? Many people have the day off in honor of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Well our incoming president (yay!) and the King Center are asking America to make it a day of work, not a day of rest. They are urging people to spend the day volunteering in their community. I think it's a great idea.
You can find projects near you by visiting the USA Service website, or you can just start your own. I was going to do an extra shift at the shelter, but they're closed tomorrow. So Husband and I are going to grab some gloves and trash bags and find a stretch of beach, park, hiking trail, whatever....that needs a pick-up. Other options? Donate blood. Take the money you would have spent on a movie and popcorn and donate it to your favorite cause. Have a "I care for the environment" day....don't use your car, minimize your energy and water consumption. Or plant your own "victory garden" in your backyard to help green the planet, give you some yummy food in the coming months, and save you some money too.
There are so many ways of getting involved in the world. I urge you to find one that speaks to your heart and do it. An ongoing commitment would be wonderful, but just tomorrow is a good start.
Remember "if you're not part of the solution, you are part of the problem."
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Friday, January 16, 2009
Annoying is the New Clever
I am so fucking sick of the phrase "X is the new Y." Red is the new black. Green is the new cult. Gay is the new straight. What does this even mean? Does "gay" now mean "likes to have sex with members of the opposite gender?" Every time I hear that phrase I cringe, because it means nothing.
It means, in fact, that annoying is the new clever.
There's a great line in Jane Austen's Northanger Abbey where the heroine, Catherine Moreland, bemoans her lack of social skills by stating "I cannot speak well enough to be unintelligible." Funnily enough, it's as true now as it was in Austen's time. In contemporary culture, making no sense whatsoever is what now passes for being smart, sophisticated, or hip.
Think about it. How many commercials these days have tag lines or claims that make no sense? Beer proudly proclaims itself to have "drinkability." Wow...a liquid with the ability to be consumed, who'd have thought it? A shampoo says it delivers "hair so strong, it shines." Since when did shine become a hallmark of strength? "That ugly perfume fragrance is so strong you're shiny." "Did you see how that weightlifter shined? I needed special glasses just to look at him."
Remember when words meant something? When being able to speak and write well was something to be respected and admired? Now being able to shorten entire sentences to a gibberish collection of symbols is viewed as the epitome of cool. Can anyone really admire the ability to text "C U L8er?" I hate that American culture is being reduced to the equivalent of the text on a vanity plate.
And there are so many insipid words and phrases that show no reluctance to die. "Think outside of the box." Here's a tip folks, don't get in the fucking box to begin with. "Superstar." Half the time that word is applied to someone I've never heard of and who is famous solely for being famous. Then there's the relentless shortening of words. "Phenom," for instance. That one gets me because not only is it annoying, but it invariably refers to someone or something barely adequate, let alone phenomenal.
I love old movies, and one of the reasons why is because the scripts are so good. The dialog is witty and assumes the audience has a brain. Or the plot is suspenseful (rather than merely stupid interludes waiting for the next disembowelment) and the characters speak like people you'd like to meet, as opposed to someone you'd cross the street to avoid. And everyone speaks in complete sentences, in actual English. They don't speak in shorthand. And the lines are memorable. "Here's looking at you, kid" will never be forgotten. "You are one phat ho, mama." can't be forgotten soon enough.
I am so fucking sick of the phrase "X is the new Y." Red is the new black. Green is the new cult. Gay is the new straight. What does this even mean? Does "gay" now mean "likes to have sex with members of the opposite gender?" Every time I hear that phrase I cringe, because it means nothing.
It means, in fact, that annoying is the new clever.
There's a great line in Jane Austen's Northanger Abbey where the heroine, Catherine Moreland, bemoans her lack of social skills by stating "I cannot speak well enough to be unintelligible." Funnily enough, it's as true now as it was in Austen's time. In contemporary culture, making no sense whatsoever is what now passes for being smart, sophisticated, or hip.
Think about it. How many commercials these days have tag lines or claims that make no sense? Beer proudly proclaims itself to have "drinkability." Wow...a liquid with the ability to be consumed, who'd have thought it? A shampoo says it delivers "hair so strong, it shines." Since when did shine become a hallmark of strength? "That ugly perfume fragrance is so strong you're shiny." "Did you see how that weightlifter shined? I needed special glasses just to look at him."
Remember when words meant something? When being able to speak and write well was something to be respected and admired? Now being able to shorten entire sentences to a gibberish collection of symbols is viewed as the epitome of cool. Can anyone really admire the ability to text "C U L8er?" I hate that American culture is being reduced to the equivalent of the text on a vanity plate.
And there are so many insipid words and phrases that show no reluctance to die. "Think outside of the box." Here's a tip folks, don't get in the fucking box to begin with. "Superstar." Half the time that word is applied to someone I've never heard of and who is famous solely for being famous. Then there's the relentless shortening of words. "Phenom," for instance. That one gets me because not only is it annoying, but it invariably refers to someone or something barely adequate, let alone phenomenal.
I love old movies, and one of the reasons why is because the scripts are so good. The dialog is witty and assumes the audience has a brain. Or the plot is suspenseful (rather than merely stupid interludes waiting for the next disembowelment) and the characters speak like people you'd like to meet, as opposed to someone you'd cross the street to avoid. And everyone speaks in complete sentences, in actual English. They don't speak in shorthand. And the lines are memorable. "Here's looking at you, kid" will never be forgotten. "You are one phat ho, mama." can't be forgotten soon enough.
Cat of the Week: Brodi
Brodi shares a condo with five other cats and while several of them could easily have been my CotW, she really stood out. She claimed the middle of my lap, but happily shared with PussNBoots and Belle and I had a lapful. She's very sweet and affectionate, gentle, good-natured, and loves to purr. She and Puss seem to be especially close, grooming each other and falling asleep in my lap with paws around each other. (Talk about "awww.")
This little grey and white cutie (ID A442558) will make someone a wonderful companion. If you're very lucky, she might be yours. Find out more at the Peninsula Humane Society & SPCA website.
Cat of the Week Update: Motley and Mikey have both been adopted!! I am so happy. And I'm really going to miss Motley. When I woke up this morning I was already looking forward to a good face-licking, but am thrilled she's found a home. Whoever is Motley's new family is very, very lucky. Several other of my favorites have also been adopted (it's been a great week), including Satch, Gouda, and Addidas. I'll miss them all, but I'm so happy to know they now have full-time laps. Especially Motley, she was very special and so deserving of a good, loving home.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
The Story of India
Husband and I are really enjoying The Story of India a six-part PBS series hosted by Michael Wood. It's a fascinating show, beautifully photographed and presented and full of "I didn't know that" moments. India is one of those places that has always fascinated me. And yet, oddly enough, I've never really thought about visiting there. I'd probably catch something fatal, because I am just that unlucky.
But this is a way of vicariously learning about this ancient and glorious civilization. The first episode traced the origins of Sanskrit and the Indian peoples. Episode two, which we've just finished watching, is about India's spiritual past, specifically Buddha and the ancient kings who searched for enlightenment.
If you have any interest in India, or even if you're just looking for some literate, fascinating TV, check out this series. I don't think you'll be disappointed.
Husband and I are really enjoying The Story of India a six-part PBS series hosted by Michael Wood. It's a fascinating show, beautifully photographed and presented and full of "I didn't know that" moments. India is one of those places that has always fascinated me. And yet, oddly enough, I've never really thought about visiting there. I'd probably catch something fatal, because I am just that unlucky.
But this is a way of vicariously learning about this ancient and glorious civilization. The first episode traced the origins of Sanskrit and the Indian peoples. Episode two, which we've just finished watching, is about India's spiritual past, specifically Buddha and the ancient kings who searched for enlightenment.
If you have any interest in India, or even if you're just looking for some literate, fascinating TV, check out this series. I don't think you'll be disappointed.
Photo of the day: Purple
I love the purple flowers that grow in the iceplant in front of our house. There's a nice covering of them thanks to this warm weather and it always makes me smile when I open the curtains in the morning and see them. Purple is my favorite color...for things. Not on me. On me I just look like the Fruit of the Loom Grapes.
I love the purple flowers that grow in the iceplant in front of our house. There's a nice covering of them thanks to this warm weather and it always makes me smile when I open the curtains in the morning and see them. Purple is my favorite color...for things. Not on me. On me I just look like the Fruit of the Loom Grapes.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
A real sports hero
Bravo to Florida State safety Myron Rolle who is delaying his entry into the NFL draft to attend Oxford on a Rhodes Scholarship. He still plans to enter the NFL and then would like to go to med school and then open a free clinic in the Bahamas.
So nice to read of someone putting education ahead of sports/money and with a social conscience as well.
Bravo to Florida State safety Myron Rolle who is delaying his entry into the NFL draft to attend Oxford on a Rhodes Scholarship. He still plans to enter the NFL and then would like to go to med school and then open a free clinic in the Bahamas.
So nice to read of someone putting education ahead of sports/money and with a social conscience as well.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Photo of the day: What?
Camera is in NYC with Husband, so my Photo of the Day entry is dependent upon what I have stored in iPhoto. Oddly enough, I have lots of photos of Cipher (The World's Most Amazing Cat, Screw You if You Don't Agree tm) so that's what you're getting. This is her "why are you bothering me with that black flashy thing?" look. I'm usually intimidated enough to put the camera down. For a beautiful cat, she often takes a lousy picture. (Then again, I often take a lousy picture too.)
Camera is in NYC with Husband, so my Photo of the Day entry is dependent upon what I have stored in iPhoto. Oddly enough, I have lots of photos of Cipher (The World's Most Amazing Cat, Screw You if You Don't Agree tm) so that's what you're getting. This is her "why are you bothering me with that black flashy thing?" look. I'm usually intimidated enough to put the camera down. For a beautiful cat, she often takes a lousy picture. (Then again, I often take a lousy picture too.)
Saturday, January 10, 2009
At 85
Yesterday was my mom's 85th birthday. It's a good age. She was born in 1924 in Detroit and grew up poor in rural Michigan. During Prohibition, her father and uncles brewed illegal beer, which they served on wooden planks in their living room...turning the house into a speakeasy when my mom and her sister were asleep.
Eventually the family came to California in search of work, and they settled in Oakland. That's where my mom when to high school and where she lived until she married my father. Mom and dad met at work, Southern Pacific Railroad, after he came home from WWII and they lived first in San Francisco and then moved to the peninsula where they raised their five kids. My mother and father were a great couple, very much in love. Sadly, he died too young in 1981 and she's never really gotten over it.
As many of you know, I'm not terribly close to my family. They're all nice people, but we have nothing in common. And mom is, sadly, deteriorating quickly. She has basically no short-term memory left. She's at that stage where she'll tell the same story several times in the space of a few minutes. She can't remember names, places, sequences of events. She'll talk to me about my father as if I'd never met the man. Last night we took her out to dinner and couldn't remember the names of the siblings who weren't there.
It's sad. And yet, because of the lack of closeness with my family (which they don't seem to feel exist) I feel detached from the loss that is to come. It's odd, because when Steve (the brother of my heart) was dying, I felt every single painful moment. Maybe that's why I'm so removed with my mom -- because I know how much it hurts and I want to spare myself.
No, that's the answer I'd like to be true. That's the sympathetic answer. The truth is I feel removed because I feel removed. Because I don't feel like I'm one of the Waltons, in spite of the fact that my mother and sisters think we are. My brothers seem to have similar feelings to mine, but maybe they're nicer than I. I wouldn't be surprised. I'm not the nicest kid in the playground. But I'm already feeling guilty because I'm not reacting the way the world would expect me to. No, not guilty. (Surprisingly.) It's just a sense of not living up to what I feel I should be. But I've never been good at persuading myself into emotions. So here I am. Detached. Once again feeling like I'm looking at my family from the outside.
The problem is that mom needs a lot of care right now. She's physically OK, but she gets incredibly lonely. My eldest sister lives with her (thankfully) but when she's at work or goes away for the weekend, mom is by herself. And she's never been good at being alone. I know I should spend time with her. Take her out, have her over, go visit her at her house to keep her company. The fact is I'm just selfish enough that it's hard for me to be there. I'm just not nice enough to be good at pretending I haven't heard her tell me about this one episode from grammar school seven times in the past two hours.
When Steve was dying there was a joke among my friends that I was the cold-hearted bitch because I didn't show how much it was killing me to watch my best friend die. But the truth is, deep down, I can be a cold-hearted bitch. It's hard to put yourself out, to do something difficult for someone that you don't love as deeply as I loved Steve. And I guess I just don't feel for my mother what a daughter "is supposed" to. I'll do my best. I guess my 2009 resolution should be to spend more time with her, to give my sister a break and do what is right. But it's going to be a damned hard resolution to keep.
How do you force yourself to do something difficult when you don't feel the emotional need to do it?
Yesterday was my mom's 85th birthday. It's a good age. She was born in 1924 in Detroit and grew up poor in rural Michigan. During Prohibition, her father and uncles brewed illegal beer, which they served on wooden planks in their living room...turning the house into a speakeasy when my mom and her sister were asleep.
Eventually the family came to California in search of work, and they settled in Oakland. That's where my mom when to high school and where she lived until she married my father. Mom and dad met at work, Southern Pacific Railroad, after he came home from WWII and they lived first in San Francisco and then moved to the peninsula where they raised their five kids. My mother and father were a great couple, very much in love. Sadly, he died too young in 1981 and she's never really gotten over it.
As many of you know, I'm not terribly close to my family. They're all nice people, but we have nothing in common. And mom is, sadly, deteriorating quickly. She has basically no short-term memory left. She's at that stage where she'll tell the same story several times in the space of a few minutes. She can't remember names, places, sequences of events. She'll talk to me about my father as if I'd never met the man. Last night we took her out to dinner and couldn't remember the names of the siblings who weren't there.
It's sad. And yet, because of the lack of closeness with my family (which they don't seem to feel exist) I feel detached from the loss that is to come. It's odd, because when Steve (the brother of my heart) was dying, I felt every single painful moment. Maybe that's why I'm so removed with my mom -- because I know how much it hurts and I want to spare myself.
No, that's the answer I'd like to be true. That's the sympathetic answer. The truth is I feel removed because I feel removed. Because I don't feel like I'm one of the Waltons, in spite of the fact that my mother and sisters think we are. My brothers seem to have similar feelings to mine, but maybe they're nicer than I. I wouldn't be surprised. I'm not the nicest kid in the playground. But I'm already feeling guilty because I'm not reacting the way the world would expect me to. No, not guilty. (Surprisingly.) It's just a sense of not living up to what I feel I should be. But I've never been good at persuading myself into emotions. So here I am. Detached. Once again feeling like I'm looking at my family from the outside.
The problem is that mom needs a lot of care right now. She's physically OK, but she gets incredibly lonely. My eldest sister lives with her (thankfully) but when she's at work or goes away for the weekend, mom is by herself. And she's never been good at being alone. I know I should spend time with her. Take her out, have her over, go visit her at her house to keep her company. The fact is I'm just selfish enough that it's hard for me to be there. I'm just not nice enough to be good at pretending I haven't heard her tell me about this one episode from grammar school seven times in the past two hours.
When Steve was dying there was a joke among my friends that I was the cold-hearted bitch because I didn't show how much it was killing me to watch my best friend die. But the truth is, deep down, I can be a cold-hearted bitch. It's hard to put yourself out, to do something difficult for someone that you don't love as deeply as I loved Steve. And I guess I just don't feel for my mother what a daughter "is supposed" to. I'll do my best. I guess my 2009 resolution should be to spend more time with her, to give my sister a break and do what is right. But it's going to be a damned hard resolution to keep.
How do you force yourself to do something difficult when you don't feel the emotional need to do it?
Friday, January 09, 2009
Cat of the week: Mikey
Mikey is a 3-year old brown tabby (you know me and brown tabbys) with amazing yellow eyes. He's extra sweet. A bit shy at first, but loves to sit on my lap and soak up the attention. He seems to be a bit scared of new things, but with patience relaxes and settles in for a good, long pet. He'd make a wonderful companion for a child-free home with an owner that knows good things come to those who wait I really like this guy and hope he finds a good home.
Mikey's ID is A442136 and you can find out more at the Peninsula Humane Society & SPCA website.
Also, can someone please tell me why Motley hasn't been adopted? She is the sweetest kitty who just wants a warm lap all her own. Surely someone out there has a lap with a vacancy!
Thursday, January 08, 2009
Flying solo
So Husband is off to the wilds of NYC for a week of jazz, family, jazz, meeting up with friends, jazz, maybe a museum or two, and some jazz (if he has the time). I'm home with Cipher (TWMAC, SYIYDA tm), a stack of books, about 75 hours of movies on TiVo, and a house that suddenly seems too big.
Don't get me wrong, I love my solo time. I love having complete ownership of the remote control, the bed, the blankets, the sofa, and the bathtub. I love not having to think about what to cook for dinner (and then cook it), having to clean up after dinner, or straighten up after anyone but myself. But I'm going to miss him, big time.
He just called. He's there safe, saw his folks, got an unintentional tour of Manhattan thanks to a "short cut" and is now getting ready for the Ron Carter show where he's going to meet up with another jazz critic and also meet up with, well, Ron Carter.
Me? I'm making a cake for me mum's birthday tomorrow. And, in the background, Top Gun with the sound off (because it's dumb but hey, they're so pretty). What can I say? I'm a sucker for the volleyball scene.
So Husband is off to the wilds of NYC for a week of jazz, family, jazz, meeting up with friends, jazz, maybe a museum or two, and some jazz (if he has the time). I'm home with Cipher (TWMAC, SYIYDA tm), a stack of books, about 75 hours of movies on TiVo, and a house that suddenly seems too big.
Don't get me wrong, I love my solo time. I love having complete ownership of the remote control, the bed, the blankets, the sofa, and the bathtub. I love not having to think about what to cook for dinner (and then cook it), having to clean up after dinner, or straighten up after anyone but myself. But I'm going to miss him, big time.
He just called. He's there safe, saw his folks, got an unintentional tour of Manhattan thanks to a "short cut" and is now getting ready for the Ron Carter show where he's going to meet up with another jazz critic and also meet up with, well, Ron Carter.
Me? I'm making a cake for me mum's birthday tomorrow. And, in the background, Top Gun with the sound off (because it's dumb but hey, they're so pretty). What can I say? I'm a sucker for the volleyball scene.
Photo of the day: NECH
This is a mysterious door near KZSU and Husband and I have always wondered what "NECH" means. And why is it such a nice sign? At the radio station, we have "KZSU" hand-painted on the outer door. But the NECH building (well, it seems to be more of a shed) has this engraved sign letting all NECH-ers that they have found the place.
This is a mysterious door near KZSU and Husband and I have always wondered what "NECH" means. And why is it such a nice sign? At the radio station, we have "KZSU" hand-painted on the outer door. But the NECH building (well, it seems to be more of a shed) has this engraved sign letting all NECH-ers that they have found the place.
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Best menu ever!
From the wacky folks at Engrish.com comes this Korean menu. (Part two is here.) I can't decide between the "house bear thang" or the "six membership fees pip rice".
From the wacky folks at Engrish.com comes this Korean menu. (Part two is here.) I can't decide between the "house bear thang" or the "six membership fees pip rice".
Photo of the day: Envious
How do cats sleep so deeply? I can't. Never have. But I just walked into the bedroom and saw Cipher (The World's Most Amazing Cat, Screw You if You Don't Agree tm) curled into a perfect ball on the bed and looking like she'd sleep until the Rapture. It's cold out, and kind of gray. The perfect day to be curled up like a sleepy cat on a comfy bed. But no, I'm cleaning the bathroom and doing laundry.
Monday, January 05, 2009
Sunday, January 04, 2009
Saturday, January 03, 2009
Friday, January 02, 2009
Cat of the week: Megumi
Behold Megumi. Or, as I like to call her, "The Purrminator." Seriously, she purred non-stop during my entire visit. I had to socialize her in the cage as all the rooms were busy, but we had a great time hanging out there. She is all about the love. She adores having her face scratched, butting heads, and showing a pipe cleaner who's boss. While I was with her there were several people who commented on how beautiful she is (and they're right) and how sweet (ditto). She'll make someone a wonderful companion (her ID is A439523) who will get a great lifetime friend with beautiful green eyes and a lot of personality.
And, a self-satisfying updateI helped make a match today! One of my favorite cats of the past few weeks has been Alexander. A beautiful black short hair who is incredibly affectionate. I was going to make him a cat of the week but he didn't have an online photo. Well two wonderful gentlemen came in and we started chatting about cats and I suggested they meet Alexander (who they hadn't noticed before). A few minutes later I walked by the GAR and saw them all bonded. One man had Alexander on his lap with both arms wrapped around him and their heads together. When I saw them later they gave me a thumbs up and invited me in...and they said they were taking him. Can I tell you how happy I am?!?!? Alexander is a wonderful kitty who just could not get enough attention. Whenever I had him out he'd sit in my lap and rub his face against mine, lean into my body and purr. And now he has that full-time. Plus I helped another family find what Husband and I have found in Cipher. I feel like today I actually did something good for the world. OK, I didn't end famine or war. I didn't find a cure for AIDS. But I did help make some people's life better, helped a cat find a forever home, and generally didn't do anything to fuck up anyone. So today was a good day.
Photo of the day: Fastest Paw in the West
I accidentally brought a pipe cleaner home from the PHS last week and Cipher (TWMAC,SYIYDA tm) thinks it's the greatest thing since licking my hair to wake me up at 3:30 in the morning. The kitties at the shelter love these things and Cipher is returning to her roots by loving it as well. We had a bit of a play this morning and her paw was batting at it so fast that she's just a blur.
Photo of the day: Coming Attractions
I'm going to attempt to do one photo a day on the blog so that I'll get back into the photography habit. Of course I made this resolve at 12:30 am so my photo ops were limited. This is a stocking stuffer I bought for Husband. It's a glass slide from when they used to advertise movies and products in-between feature films back in the golden age of Hollywood. I've never heard ot the movie, but I thought it was rather cool anyway.
Thursday, January 01, 2009
Top ten
In keeping with every other blogger, newspaper columnist, and boring pundit on the planet, I give you my top ten of 2008 list. No, I'm not going to tell you what it's a list of...
1. Finding out it was an ulcer
2. Volunteering at the kitten nursery and becoming a full volunteer at the Humane Society
3. Shake Away by Lila Downs
4. The new California Academy of Sciences
5. Walking across the Golden Gate Bridge with my sweetie
6. Curling up with aforementioned sweetie and Cipher (the World's Most Amazing Cat, Screw You if You Don't Agree tm) on a rainy day in the world's comfiest bed
7. Pot stickers from Lai Lai
8. Ballykissangel on DVD
9. Barack Obama
10. My monthly book group, full of great people, good reads, and wonderful conversation
and a bonus,
11. Cute Overload
In keeping with every other blogger, newspaper columnist, and boring pundit on the planet, I give you my top ten of 2008 list. No, I'm not going to tell you what it's a list of...
1. Finding out it was an ulcer
2. Volunteering at the kitten nursery and becoming a full volunteer at the Humane Society
3. Shake Away by Lila Downs
4. The new California Academy of Sciences
5. Walking across the Golden Gate Bridge with my sweetie
6. Curling up with aforementioned sweetie and Cipher (the World's Most Amazing Cat, Screw You if You Don't Agree tm) on a rainy day in the world's comfiest bed
7. Pot stickers from Lai Lai
8. Ballykissangel on DVD
9. Barack Obama
10. My monthly book group, full of great people, good reads, and wonderful conversation
and a bonus,
11. Cute Overload
Monday, December 29, 2008
Cat of the Week Update
Yufi and Dean, the pair that was my "Cat of the Week" for December 12th have been adopted (yes, together)! Several other of my favorite have also gone to their forever homes. Lucille, a sweet gentle girl who used to hang out in the same condo as Tiger; Phoebe, a quirky little cat who loved to sleep under her blankie; and Cricket, a one-eyed sweetie (she had a cataract) with tons of personality.
Obviously I went into PHS today and had my usual fabulous time. I even helped point one sweet lady to one of our shyer kitties and they were going home together when I finished my shift. Happy, happy!
Yufi and Dean, the pair that was my "Cat of the Week" for December 12th have been adopted (yes, together)! Several other of my favorite have also gone to their forever homes. Lucille, a sweet gentle girl who used to hang out in the same condo as Tiger; Phoebe, a quirky little cat who loved to sleep under her blankie; and Cricket, a one-eyed sweetie (she had a cataract) with tons of personality.
Obviously I went into PHS today and had my usual fabulous time. I even helped point one sweet lady to one of our shyer kitties and they were going home together when I finished my shift. Happy, happy!
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Me and the blues
So yesterday was the 2008 KZSU 24-hour blues marathon. Of which I did 9 hours. Solo.
I did the 3am-6am slot early Saturday morning and then went back at 6 pm and closed us out until midnight. From 6-midnight I played a record (for me) 71 songs. Have I mentioned how much I love the blues? For me it's all about the deep down, low down type of music. No soul. No R&B. No borderline rock. It's the back porch, life sucks, i'm miserable kind of music that means the blues to me. I love the classic crew: Lightnin' Hopkins, Muddy Waters, BB King, Howlin' Wolf, Robert Johnson -- that crowd. But I covered from the 30's up until releases that came out two months ago. And it was, if I do say so myself, kick-ass fabulous.
And today.....I'm pooped.
So yesterday was the 2008 KZSU 24-hour blues marathon. Of which I did 9 hours. Solo.
I did the 3am-6am slot early Saturday morning and then went back at 6 pm and closed us out until midnight. From 6-midnight I played a record (for me) 71 songs. Have I mentioned how much I love the blues? For me it's all about the deep down, low down type of music. No soul. No R&B. No borderline rock. It's the back porch, life sucks, i'm miserable kind of music that means the blues to me. I love the classic crew: Lightnin' Hopkins, Muddy Waters, BB King, Howlin' Wolf, Robert Johnson -- that crowd. But I covered from the 30's up until releases that came out two months ago. And it was, if I do say so myself, kick-ass fabulous.
And today.....I'm pooped.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Cat of the Week: Motley
Meet Motley, a sweet, loving 7-year old domestic short hair with a gorgeous "plaid" coat. She's a born lap-sitter. When I went into the condo that Motley shares with 4 other cats one of the others claimed half my lap, and Motley took the other half. She purred non-stop (until she fell asleep) and she's a face-licker. (And hand, chin, ear, and anything else she can get her tongue on.)
Motley is amazingly mellow, loving, affectionate and gentle. The only time she showed any bad-temper is when I had to physically lift her off my lap and she complained, vociferously. She curled up with the other cat and the two of them molded themselves into my arms. And they fell asleep. Talk about melting my heart.
If your lap needs some warming, please stop by the Peninsula Humane Society & SPCA and meet Motley (her ID # is: A209641). She'll melt your heart too.
Monday, December 22, 2008
You say it's your birthday? Well it's my birthday too, man
Yeah, it is. It's midnight here at Helen Manor which means it's now December 23rd, my birthday. I'm getting to that age where birthdays don't really make me happy -- they tend to make me a bit blue. Not that I'm getting old. I mean I am, but it beats the alternative. But I get all guilt-ridden about not having done more to save the world and then all mopey because I have so little to show for my life. (And by "so little" I mean I'm the only one of my friends (and the oldest of my friends) to not own a house. That always upsets me when I think of it because it's the one thing I've always wanted.
But I also try to make birthday resolutions. Since mines so close to the end of the year I don't bother with New Year's resolutions. I just do ones for me, for the coming year. Nothing huge. No "I'm going to learn how to speak Chinese" or "I will train for a triathalon." Usually it's to do or try one thing I've always wanted to do/try but never have. It's to go someplace I've never been. And it's to make at least one new friend or to deepen a relationship with a casual buddy. I've manage all three.
This year I finally took the step towards working with animals, which I've always wanted to do. After a summer spent taking care of kittens I'm now a cat TLC volunteer and I love it. I went in today for nearly 3 hours and was so happy to be there, to help the kitties, to talk to people looking for a new pet an being able to point them to my favorites. It's a wonderful thing and I am getting so much personal satisfaction from it all. And I am so grateful to Husband for giving me this opportunity.
We also went to the New Academy of Sciences. OK, we were going to go on our cruise of a lifetime trip to Greece, Italy, and Turkey -- which would have been amazing. But I got sick and we cancelled. So we stayed close to home and walked across the Golden Gate Bridge and saw the beautiful new Academy. Not the Parthenon, but gorgeous nonetheless. It reinforces how lucky we are to live in this area where we have such gorgeous places to visit within an hour's drive. Half Moon Bay. Golden Gate Park. The zoo. It's a fabulous place to play and I loved going tourist in our backyard.
But the highlights of each year's goal is always the new friend. I think the wonderful surprise for this year is Mama D. Thanks to our bookgroup we've become closer to each other and every new interaction just knocks me sideways at how cool she is. She's a fabulous lady, a great mom, a wonderful friend and someone that I am grateful to have in my world. Which, of course, makes me think how grateful I am to have all my amazing friends. The Foreigner and The Lurker, Mama D and S de M, Finny and Bubba, the Colorado Contingent, The Belle of Belfast City and her handsome guys, my ex-hubfiend, and those at KZSU that are special to us. All of them/you enrich my life in ways you may not even know of. But you do. And I am daily grateful to you all for being there. Especially this year, when I needed lots of support, you always made me know I had people to lean on. Thanks to you all, for everything.
As for me, I'm planning on spending the day in bed. In my jammies. I want movies in bed. I want to read in bed. I want to nap in the afternoon with my cat curled up on the bed. I want dinner in bed. I may get out to take a decadently long, hot bath -- but then it's right back into bed. With an interlude for cake. But that's all I want. A day alone with Husband. He's been working crazy lately and I want some time together. Sounds like a perfect day.
Or maybe I'll treat myself and go into the shelter for a few hours and work with the cats. They're low on volunteers this week since people are traveling so they could probably use an extra hand. I think it would be a wonderful gift to myself to do something that makes me so happy. And then dinner in bed...
Yeah, it is. It's midnight here at Helen Manor which means it's now December 23rd, my birthday. I'm getting to that age where birthdays don't really make me happy -- they tend to make me a bit blue. Not that I'm getting old. I mean I am, but it beats the alternative. But I get all guilt-ridden about not having done more to save the world and then all mopey because I have so little to show for my life. (And by "so little" I mean I'm the only one of my friends (and the oldest of my friends) to not own a house. That always upsets me when I think of it because it's the one thing I've always wanted.
But I also try to make birthday resolutions. Since mines so close to the end of the year I don't bother with New Year's resolutions. I just do ones for me, for the coming year. Nothing huge. No "I'm going to learn how to speak Chinese" or "I will train for a triathalon." Usually it's to do or try one thing I've always wanted to do/try but never have. It's to go someplace I've never been. And it's to make at least one new friend or to deepen a relationship with a casual buddy. I've manage all three.
This year I finally took the step towards working with animals, which I've always wanted to do. After a summer spent taking care of kittens I'm now a cat TLC volunteer and I love it. I went in today for nearly 3 hours and was so happy to be there, to help the kitties, to talk to people looking for a new pet an being able to point them to my favorites. It's a wonderful thing and I am getting so much personal satisfaction from it all. And I am so grateful to Husband for giving me this opportunity.
We also went to the New Academy of Sciences. OK, we were going to go on our cruise of a lifetime trip to Greece, Italy, and Turkey -- which would have been amazing. But I got sick and we cancelled. So we stayed close to home and walked across the Golden Gate Bridge and saw the beautiful new Academy. Not the Parthenon, but gorgeous nonetheless. It reinforces how lucky we are to live in this area where we have such gorgeous places to visit within an hour's drive. Half Moon Bay. Golden Gate Park. The zoo. It's a fabulous place to play and I loved going tourist in our backyard.
But the highlights of each year's goal is always the new friend. I think the wonderful surprise for this year is Mama D. Thanks to our bookgroup we've become closer to each other and every new interaction just knocks me sideways at how cool she is. She's a fabulous lady, a great mom, a wonderful friend and someone that I am grateful to have in my world. Which, of course, makes me think how grateful I am to have all my amazing friends. The Foreigner and The Lurker, Mama D and S de M, Finny and Bubba, the Colorado Contingent, The Belle of Belfast City and her handsome guys, my ex-hubfiend, and those at KZSU that are special to us. All of them/you enrich my life in ways you may not even know of. But you do. And I am daily grateful to you all for being there. Especially this year, when I needed lots of support, you always made me know I had people to lean on. Thanks to you all, for everything.
As for me, I'm planning on spending the day in bed. In my jammies. I want movies in bed. I want to read in bed. I want to nap in the afternoon with my cat curled up on the bed. I want dinner in bed. I may get out to take a decadently long, hot bath -- but then it's right back into bed. With an interlude for cake. But that's all I want. A day alone with Husband. He's been working crazy lately and I want some time together. Sounds like a perfect day.
Or maybe I'll treat myself and go into the shelter for a few hours and work with the cats. They're low on volunteers this week since people are traveling so they could probably use an extra hand. I think it would be a wonderful gift to myself to do something that makes me so happy. And then dinner in bed...
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Name that poem...
The recent cold spell has put in mind a poem that captures chill quite well...
St Agnes' Eve---Ah, bitter chill it was!
The owl, for all his feathers, was a-cold;
The hare limp'd trembling through the frozen grass,
And silent was the flock in woolly fold:
And on it goes. Anybody know who/what it is? Guesses?
There is something about winter, Christmas, and my approaching birthday that always makes me poetic. I read it. Hell, I even write it. I wonder why? I don't get poetic in the summer. But the cold makes me all lyrical. Today I paged through my favorite contemporary poet, Billy Collins and loved every minute. Tomorrow I might get into some other favorites. Neruda. Auden. If I'm feeling strong, The Ballad of Reading Gaol by Oscar Wilde.
Does winter put you into odd moods? For me it's baking and poetry. What is it for you?
The recent cold spell has put in mind a poem that captures chill quite well...
St Agnes' Eve---Ah, bitter chill it was!
The owl, for all his feathers, was a-cold;
The hare limp'd trembling through the frozen grass,
And silent was the flock in woolly fold:
And on it goes. Anybody know who/what it is? Guesses?
There is something about winter, Christmas, and my approaching birthday that always makes me poetic. I read it. Hell, I even write it. I wonder why? I don't get poetic in the summer. But the cold makes me all lyrical. Today I paged through my favorite contemporary poet, Billy Collins and loved every minute. Tomorrow I might get into some other favorites. Neruda. Auden. If I'm feeling strong, The Ballad of Reading Gaol by Oscar Wilde.
Does winter put you into odd moods? For me it's baking and poetry. What is it for you?
Friday, December 19, 2008
Cat of the week: Mr. Peabody
Meet Mr. Peabody, he's black and he's proud! Mr. P is all about the love. I opened his cage and he was instantly in my face with a "hi, hi, pet me, hi, hello, hi" greeting that was completely endearing. He's 9-years old and extremely gentle, sweet, and affectionate. All the get acquainted rooms were busy so he and I hung out at his cage, playing with pipe cleaners and butting heads.
This cat has that spark of something extra. Charm. Savoir faire. Whatever you want to call it. And yet he manages to be both mellow and memorable.
It's a sad fact that black cats are often overlooked because many people are superstitious about them. Personally, I think anybody who adopted Mr. Peabody would be in for some great luck.
You can find out more at the Peninsula Humane Society website. Mr. Peabody's reference number is A435841.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
No, I'm not ignoring you
Just haven't had much to say. Plus I was on the radio for 5 hours today, 3 hours yesterday.
Actually, in spite of the fact that I did a totally kick-ass show today, I've kinda got the blues. Today would have been my beloved best friend/brother Steve's 45th birthday. Only he's not around for the whole cake and presents thing because stupid ol' AIDS done him in. (Sorry, black humor is my personal savior.)
I tend to get sad on his birthday. My birthday is next week and he and I would always get together between our days and celebrate together. This typically involved lunch at the Patio Cafe on Castro Street (where I would pay because Steve would never have his wallet). I miss our lunches. I miss getting catty over the camp waiters, going window shopping for things we couldn't afford, and then splitting something gooey for dessert. Basically, I just miss him. Stupid AIDS.
It looks like I'll be taking over the airwaves again on Friday morning, filling in for Husband from 6-9 am. Then next week I'm off until the big KZSU blues marathon on the 27th. (If you've never heard me play the blues, tune in....I do a seriously fucking great blues show.)
Just haven't had much to say. Plus I was on the radio for 5 hours today, 3 hours yesterday.
Actually, in spite of the fact that I did a totally kick-ass show today, I've kinda got the blues. Today would have been my beloved best friend/brother Steve's 45th birthday. Only he's not around for the whole cake and presents thing because stupid ol' AIDS done him in. (Sorry, black humor is my personal savior.)
I tend to get sad on his birthday. My birthday is next week and he and I would always get together between our days and celebrate together. This typically involved lunch at the Patio Cafe on Castro Street (where I would pay because Steve would never have his wallet). I miss our lunches. I miss getting catty over the camp waiters, going window shopping for things we couldn't afford, and then splitting something gooey for dessert. Basically, I just miss him. Stupid AIDS.
It looks like I'll be taking over the airwaves again on Friday morning, filling in for Husband from 6-9 am. Then next week I'm off until the big KZSU blues marathon on the 27th. (If you've never heard me play the blues, tune in....I do a seriously fucking great blues show.)
Saturday, December 13, 2008
More about PHS
I love volunteering at the Peninsula Humane Society and SPCA. It's the most fun and most personal satisfaction and fulfillment I've experienced in about 10 years. Every day that I go in I find myself loving it more, and spending more time there. The average shift is only 2 hours but yesterday I was there for 3 1/2 because I kept telling myself "just one more kitty." That's why it's so hard to leave -- there are always more cats who need attention.
I have to think they are desperate for cat TLC volunteers because on Thursday only 2 cats got out of their cages and I seemed to be the only volunteer on Friday. The shelter is so overrun with cats that they are asking people to foster them for a few weeks to free up some space. In fact Lily/Smith was gone to a foster home. (Poor thing, she keeps getting moved around.) I saw two adorable kittens get adopted yesterday, which was wonderful. But then a litter of 6 came in -- we can't seem to get ahead of the cat curve.
Every day there brings its own joys and surprises. From my favorite pair Dean and Yufi (see post below) who were so cute with each other to Blue, a sweet little cat who is very scared of loud noises and needed lots of patience, love, and attention. There was the huge 18-pounder who was a total lump to try to pick up but incredibly curious and fun in the GAR (get acquainted room). There was the cat condo, where Tiger lives, where my lap was the best seat in the house. And there was one little charmer who sniffed every corner of the GAR and then spent about 5 minutes attacking a ribbon with a dedication that would make a lion proud.
It's so hard to see so many amazing animals desperately in need of loving homes. All they want is a person or a family of their own. And they give so much in return. There are some where as soon as I walk up to their cage they're right there, saying hello, eager to play and so happy to get the attention. Some want a mix of petting and play. Others just want the love. And each one has his or her own personality and I'm loving getting to know them. I just wish I could do more to help them find their forever homes.
I love volunteering at the Peninsula Humane Society and SPCA. It's the most fun and most personal satisfaction and fulfillment I've experienced in about 10 years. Every day that I go in I find myself loving it more, and spending more time there. The average shift is only 2 hours but yesterday I was there for 3 1/2 because I kept telling myself "just one more kitty." That's why it's so hard to leave -- there are always more cats who need attention.
I have to think they are desperate for cat TLC volunteers because on Thursday only 2 cats got out of their cages and I seemed to be the only volunteer on Friday. The shelter is so overrun with cats that they are asking people to foster them for a few weeks to free up some space. In fact Lily/Smith was gone to a foster home. (Poor thing, she keeps getting moved around.) I saw two adorable kittens get adopted yesterday, which was wonderful. But then a litter of 6 came in -- we can't seem to get ahead of the cat curve.
Every day there brings its own joys and surprises. From my favorite pair Dean and Yufi (see post below) who were so cute with each other to Blue, a sweet little cat who is very scared of loud noises and needed lots of patience, love, and attention. There was the huge 18-pounder who was a total lump to try to pick up but incredibly curious and fun in the GAR (get acquainted room). There was the cat condo, where Tiger lives, where my lap was the best seat in the house. And there was one little charmer who sniffed every corner of the GAR and then spent about 5 minutes attacking a ribbon with a dedication that would make a lion proud.
It's so hard to see so many amazing animals desperately in need of loving homes. All they want is a person or a family of their own. And they give so much in return. There are some where as soon as I walk up to their cage they're right there, saying hello, eager to play and so happy to get the attention. Some want a mix of petting and play. Others just want the love. And each one has his or her own personality and I'm loving getting to know them. I just wish I could do more to help them find their forever homes.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Cats of the Week: Yufi and Dean
Dean (top photo) and Yufi are a bonded pair. Two domestic shorthair sweethearts that would like to be adopted together. Their video shows how great they are as a pair.
I took Dean into the room first and he sat at the window and stared, with great concern, until I brought Yufi in. Then they had a ball. They politely took turns sitting in my lap; first one then the other. When one was in my lap the other was either playing or sitting close by. They groomed each other, had a great time attacking a ribbon, and were both purring up a storm.
Many people say cats are happier in pairs. If you would like to adopt two cats that already adore each other, Yufi and Dean might be just the right duo for your home. You can find out more at the Peninsula Humane Society & SPCA website.
(Their ID#s are A437013 / A437015).
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
CD Pick of the Week: Masters of Chicha
Masters of Chicha by Juaneco y Su Combo is oh, so cool! Chicha is a Peruvian blend of cumbia, Andean folk music, rock and roll and a bit of everything else. A blend of instrumental and vocal tracks. Think Amazonian surf guitars, R&B organ, and the house band in the coolest, grimiest dive bar in the jungle. All with a retro 70s sound. Love all of this. Totally fun.
Sunday, December 07, 2008
Cat-proofed and Santa-ready
We're ready for Christmas around our homestead. We put up our tree today. It's gorgeous. A bit shorter than we usually get, but Husband found this one an it had such a perfect shape that we couldn't resist. I indulged in my tradition of watching White Christmas while decorating it and now our stocking have been hung by the chimney with care.
This year we by-passed the whole problem and didn't put ornaments on the bottom part of the tree. OK, there are 2 or 3, but they're all non-breakable and cat proof. If this year is anything like last we'll end up with nothing at all on the bottom and everything crammed onto the top. Hey, Cipher (The World's Most Amazing Cat, Screw You if You Don't Agree tm) can't resist the shiny.
Happy ho-ho, everyone. Now, bring on the hot cocoa with Bailey's...
Friday, December 05, 2008
My eyes! My eyes!
Check out this stellar gallery of Swedish dance bands from the 70's. You have never seen this many bad outfits and big sideburns in one place in your life.
Cat of the Week: Tiger
Because each time I'm at the Peninsula Humane Society & SPCA I meet yet another amazing cat that just steals my heart, I've decided to start a Cat of the Week feature here at Myth-Taken.
My first COTW is Tiger. He's a handsome 8-year old tabby (a vintage cat) who will sit in your lap until those metaphorical cows come home. He even has his own video. Tiger is living in a kitty condo with 8 other cats and when I walked in and sat down he immediately claimed my lap as his sovereign territory. He sat there, purring happily away, for 20 minutes while the other cats made do with random pets and scratches behind the ear. My lap was his.
Tiger was such a love that I went back into the condo at the end of my shift and exactly the same thing happened. I sat down, he curled up, and we stayed that way for about 10 minutes. It was actually painful to push him off and leave.
If you want a gentle, affectionate animal -- and the ultimate lap cat -- this charmer is your boy. We have unfortunately already ascertained that Cipher (The World's Most Amazing Cat, Screw You if You Don't Agree tm) is a one-cat only pet. Otherwise I honestly think Tiger would have come home with me this afternoon. He is beautiful, sweet, loving and (amazingly!) available.
To find out more visit the PHS website at peninsulahumanesociety.org. Tiger's ID number is A436762.
Somebody PLEASE give this guy a home. He's a total love bug.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
The return of Smith
So Smith/Glory/Lily has popped back into my life. Not at our house, thankfully, unfortunately, but at the Humane Society. I had some free time this afternoon and went to the shelter to be with the kitties. And there she was.
She recognized me before I even saw her. I walked into the room and I hear this insistent meowing and saw a little white paw poking out through the cage. So I squatted down to see who was making all the noise and it was Lily. I was so happy to see her, but I think she was even happier to see me. When I opened the cage door she leapt into my arms and immediately began rubbing her head against me. I took her into the get acquainted room and we spent about 15 minutes together. She sniffed, she explored, she sat in my lap, she shed a lot, she explored some more, she attacked my shoelaces. I loved seeing her, knowing she was doing well, and knowing that she is in the perfect place to find a loving home.
I was concerned about seeing her again -- wondering how I'd feel. I'm surprised I don't feel as guilty as I thought I would. It was just a happy thing to be with her again and to know that I'll be able to take care of her until she finds her home.
The other highlight of my day was being covered in kittens. But I won't tell you because that will just make you jealous.
So Smith/Glory/Lily has popped back into my life. Not at our house, thankfully, unfortunately, but at the Humane Society. I had some free time this afternoon and went to the shelter to be with the kitties. And there she was.
She recognized me before I even saw her. I walked into the room and I hear this insistent meowing and saw a little white paw poking out through the cage. So I squatted down to see who was making all the noise and it was Lily. I was so happy to see her, but I think she was even happier to see me. When I opened the cage door she leapt into my arms and immediately began rubbing her head against me. I took her into the get acquainted room and we spent about 15 minutes together. She sniffed, she explored, she sat in my lap, she shed a lot, she explored some more, she attacked my shoelaces. I loved seeing her, knowing she was doing well, and knowing that she is in the perfect place to find a loving home.
I was concerned about seeing her again -- wondering how I'd feel. I'm surprised I don't feel as guilty as I thought I would. It was just a happy thing to be with her again and to know that I'll be able to take care of her until she finds her home.
The other highlight of my day was being covered in kittens. But I won't tell you because that will just make you jealous.
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Radio Goo-Goo
Next week KZSU starts its interim schedule. This is the time between academic quarters when we toss out the regular schedule and it's all sort of up in the air. People leave. Other people take extra slots. Some do several shows a week. Some DJs break out of their usual genre and do completely different types of shows.
I'm one of those DJs.
Next week I'll be doing my regular Tuesday night world music show At the Cafe Bohemian from 6-8 pm. But on Wednesday (December 10) from 2-6 I'll be doing a show I'm calling Bathysphere Blues. It'll be blues so down deep that you'll get the bends if you come up too soon. The following week I am not doing my Tuesday night show, but from 2-5 on Wednesday the 17th I'm hosting Cipher's Crop Circle which will be a mash-up of soul, R&B, blues, jazz, and world. (Heavy on the Motown.)
Tune in, lovies.
Next week KZSU starts its interim schedule. This is the time between academic quarters when we toss out the regular schedule and it's all sort of up in the air. People leave. Other people take extra slots. Some do several shows a week. Some DJs break out of their usual genre and do completely different types of shows.
I'm one of those DJs.
Next week I'll be doing my regular Tuesday night world music show At the Cafe Bohemian from 6-8 pm. But on Wednesday (December 10) from 2-6 I'll be doing a show I'm calling Bathysphere Blues. It'll be blues so down deep that you'll get the bends if you come up too soon. The following week I am not doing my Tuesday night show, but from 2-5 on Wednesday the 17th I'm hosting Cipher's Crop Circle which will be a mash-up of soul, R&B, blues, jazz, and world. (Heavy on the Motown.)
Tune in, lovies.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
World AIDS Day
December 1st is World AIDS Day. There will be events and ceremonies around the world. Close to home there is always something going on at the National AIDS Memorial Grove in Golden Gate Park. It's a place that's special to me and my friends. The names of "the Steves" are part of the Circle of Friends, each has a tree planted in his honor, and it's where we gathered to commemorate 10 years since we lost Steve.
It's one of those days on which I cannot help but reflect. I miss them all the time, but every year on AIDS Day I think of them with love and sadness. And it inspires me to appreciate how lucky I was to have had them in my life. Steve, especially, was a huge part of who I am. I still cannot believe he's been gone so long, or that I shall grow old without him to lean on.
In honor of the day I urge you to do something sloppy, like tell the people in your life that you love them. It helps me to miss them less if I let their loss inspire something good.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Where do I pay?
So today was my first official shift as a cat TLC volunteer at the Peninsula Humane Society & SPCA. I'm surprised they don't charge people to volunteer there. It was the most fun, and coolest thing I've done in ages. If you like animals and have a few hours each week, I urge you to get involved.
It was really crowded today (who knew that Black Friday applied to shelters?), which was nice. But it meant I wasn't able to take any of the kitties out of their cages. But they all got lots of love, petting, and play inside their homes. And they were so happy to get the love. Some of the poor things hadn't been socialized at all since last week -- so it's no wonder they were eager for attention and affection (which I was happy to give).
Each cat was different, with a distinct personality. Some were eager for love. Some wanted to attack pipe cleaners. Others made it very clear when they had had enough. There was one biter. A couple of shedders. A lot of purrers. And one that I especially wanted to take home (his name is Reno).
It was a fabulous two hours and I didn't want it to end. In fact, if I didn't have to come home to cook my 15 pound turkey, I'd have stuck around to cuddle a few more.
Honestly, a wonderful, wonderful thing to do.
So today was my first official shift as a cat TLC volunteer at the Peninsula Humane Society & SPCA. I'm surprised they don't charge people to volunteer there. It was the most fun, and coolest thing I've done in ages. If you like animals and have a few hours each week, I urge you to get involved.
It was really crowded today (who knew that Black Friday applied to shelters?), which was nice. But it meant I wasn't able to take any of the kitties out of their cages. But they all got lots of love, petting, and play inside their homes. And they were so happy to get the love. Some of the poor things hadn't been socialized at all since last week -- so it's no wonder they were eager for attention and affection (which I was happy to give).
Each cat was different, with a distinct personality. Some were eager for love. Some wanted to attack pipe cleaners. Others made it very clear when they had had enough. There was one biter. A couple of shedders. A lot of purrers. And one that I especially wanted to take home (his name is Reno).
It was a fabulous two hours and I didn't want it to end. In fact, if I didn't have to come home to cook my 15 pound turkey, I'd have stuck around to cuddle a few more.
Honestly, a wonderful, wonderful thing to do.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Thank you
Today, for those of you either outside the US or in a cave, is Thanksgiving. Which means it's the appropriate time to be thankful for all the wonderful things in our lives. Yeah, it has something to do with eating too much, making polite small talk to relatives, and going into a turkey coma. But thanks is what it should all be about. So....thank you to:
- Husband. Above everything else in my life is this wonderful man who puts up with my moods, my health problems, my white trash family, and my addiction to British mysteries. And who loves me in spite of everything. And for those of you not married to Husband (that would be everyone else)...nyah, nyah....I got the best guy.
- The most amazing friends ever. I think the universe is compensating me for my atrocious family by giving me a family of friends to make up for it. And I love each and every one of them. I'm not sure if I deserve them, but I'm keeping them nonetheless. They are smartest, coolest, funniest, sweetest, most generous and loyal group of people I know and I am so lucky to have them,
- KZSU. The little station that gave me so much. If it weren't for KZSU (and Foreigner and her husband) I never would have met Husband. But each week it gives me something. My show. I love being on the air. I love finding wonderful new World artists to play. I love pulling old favorites out of the library and giving them some love. I love having the freedom to play whatever I want. I love having been part of such lunacy as the short song marathon (as many 1-minute songs we could play in 24-hours) and the 60th Anniversary Special. It's a fabulous place and I'm so grateful to have been part of it for 8 years. I am also grateful to everyone at KZSU who works so hard to keep it up and running; especially our Chief Engineer, our Program Director, our Music Director and all the other genre directors.
- The Peninsula Humane Society & SPCA. Not only did they give us Cipher (the World's Most Amazing Cat, Screw You if You Don't Agree tm) (for whom I am also incredibly thankful) but they let me volunteer there. And every day their dedicated group of staff and volunteers save the lives of animals around the Bay Area. They give life and love to so many deserving critters, keeping them safe until they can find families to love them. I am so proud to be a part of that organization.
- Obama won the election! Enough said.
- Health. After being mysteriously sick for about 18 months they found what was wrong with me and fixed it. I can't tell you how wonderful it feels to not be sick. I can eat. I can get out of bed. I don't have to worry about going to ER every other month. And while I miss the fun IVs of pain meds, I'm so much happier having my life back. It's not something I take for granted. Every day I wake up smiling, enjoying the simple pleasure of eating a bowl of corn flakes and knowing I won't throw it up. (Hey, it's the little things in life.)
- Safety. I'm safe. The people I love are safe. We don't live in a war zone. We have enough to eat. We don't have to worry about being shot when we go out of our houses. We don't have to live in fear that we'll be hauled off mysteriously in the night because we wrote "I think George Bush is an idiot" on our blog. We have freedom and security. And that means so much, especially considering so many people in the world don't have that.
- The people who fight. Not just the armed forces. (Regardless of how you feel about the war, you have to feel gratitude for people who do the hard jobs....because hell, I'm not going to.) But also the people who fight to give us all that wonderful safety. Organizations like The Southern Poverty Law Center, Amnesty International, and Doctors Without Borders. Thank you for fighting the good fight, for helping the world, and for having your hearts in the right place.
- Simple joys. There are so many things in life that make me happy. Stupid, little things that make life good. Reading a good book while taking a hot bath. Making cookies from scratch. Watching old movies. Having a cat curl up next to you in bed and start purring. Watching sports (when your team is winning, of course). Great music.
- The people I've never met. People whose work or life has affected me somehow. Who make my life better and who I'll never be able to thank in person. Barack Obama, Sanseverino, Judi Dench, Arturo Perez-Reverte, Lila Downs, Jon Carroll, Patrick McDonnell (creator of the comic "Mutts"), and way too many other musicians to name.
- You. Thanks for reading. I know who most of you are. I'm sure there are a few I don't know. But I thank you for giving me a venue for my occasionally dull thoughts and but taking the time to comment when I say something you like, don't like, or that makes you laugh.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
Today, for those of you either outside the US or in a cave, is Thanksgiving. Which means it's the appropriate time to be thankful for all the wonderful things in our lives. Yeah, it has something to do with eating too much, making polite small talk to relatives, and going into a turkey coma. But thanks is what it should all be about. So....thank you to:
- Husband. Above everything else in my life is this wonderful man who puts up with my moods, my health problems, my white trash family, and my addiction to British mysteries. And who loves me in spite of everything. And for those of you not married to Husband (that would be everyone else)...nyah, nyah....I got the best guy.
- The most amazing friends ever. I think the universe is compensating me for my atrocious family by giving me a family of friends to make up for it. And I love each and every one of them. I'm not sure if I deserve them, but I'm keeping them nonetheless. They are smartest, coolest, funniest, sweetest, most generous and loyal group of people I know and I am so lucky to have them,
- KZSU. The little station that gave me so much. If it weren't for KZSU (and Foreigner and her husband) I never would have met Husband. But each week it gives me something. My show. I love being on the air. I love finding wonderful new World artists to play. I love pulling old favorites out of the library and giving them some love. I love having the freedom to play whatever I want. I love having been part of such lunacy as the short song marathon (as many 1-minute songs we could play in 24-hours) and the 60th Anniversary Special. It's a fabulous place and I'm so grateful to have been part of it for 8 years. I am also grateful to everyone at KZSU who works so hard to keep it up and running; especially our Chief Engineer, our Program Director, our Music Director and all the other genre directors.
- The Peninsula Humane Society & SPCA. Not only did they give us Cipher (the World's Most Amazing Cat, Screw You if You Don't Agree tm) (for whom I am also incredibly thankful) but they let me volunteer there. And every day their dedicated group of staff and volunteers save the lives of animals around the Bay Area. They give life and love to so many deserving critters, keeping them safe until they can find families to love them. I am so proud to be a part of that organization.
- Obama won the election! Enough said.
- Health. After being mysteriously sick for about 18 months they found what was wrong with me and fixed it. I can't tell you how wonderful it feels to not be sick. I can eat. I can get out of bed. I don't have to worry about going to ER every other month. And while I miss the fun IVs of pain meds, I'm so much happier having my life back. It's not something I take for granted. Every day I wake up smiling, enjoying the simple pleasure of eating a bowl of corn flakes and knowing I won't throw it up. (Hey, it's the little things in life.)
- Safety. I'm safe. The people I love are safe. We don't live in a war zone. We have enough to eat. We don't have to worry about being shot when we go out of our houses. We don't have to live in fear that we'll be hauled off mysteriously in the night because we wrote "I think George Bush is an idiot" on our blog. We have freedom and security. And that means so much, especially considering so many people in the world don't have that.
- The people who fight. Not just the armed forces. (Regardless of how you feel about the war, you have to feel gratitude for people who do the hard jobs....because hell, I'm not going to.) But also the people who fight to give us all that wonderful safety. Organizations like The Southern Poverty Law Center, Amnesty International, and Doctors Without Borders. Thank you for fighting the good fight, for helping the world, and for having your hearts in the right place.
- Simple joys. There are so many things in life that make me happy. Stupid, little things that make life good. Reading a good book while taking a hot bath. Making cookies from scratch. Watching old movies. Having a cat curl up next to you in bed and start purring. Watching sports (when your team is winning, of course). Great music.
- The people I've never met. People whose work or life has affected me somehow. Who make my life better and who I'll never be able to thank in person. Barack Obama, Sanseverino, Judi Dench, Arturo Perez-Reverte, Lila Downs, Jon Carroll, Patrick McDonnell (creator of the comic "Mutts"), and way too many other musicians to name.
- You. Thanks for reading. I know who most of you are. I'm sure there are a few I don't know. But I thank you for giving me a venue for my occasionally dull thoughts and but taking the time to comment when I say something you like, don't like, or that makes you laugh.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Kitten smitten
Today I was shadowed on my first session as a cat TLC volunteer at the Peninsula Humane Society and SPCA. It was wonderful and I start my first solo volunteer shift this Friday afternoon.
They are really in need of volunteers, so if any of you like cats and have time to kill -- especially during the weekdays, I urge you to come down and volunteer. The shelter is overrun with cats -- so many that a few are only getting out of their kennels once or twice a week. That's not nearly enough. Cat TLC volunteers take cats out, play with them, give them love, and generally make them happy while the kitties wait to find their forever homes. It's so hard not to want to adopt a few myself, and each time I go in I fall a little in love with one or two. I just wish they all had the love and comfort of a family like Cipher (the World's Most Amazing Cat, Screw You if You Don't Agree tm) has with us. They all deserve a family. And if you want to get involved in an incredibly worthwhile organization, I can't recommend PHS too highly. Everyone I've meet there has been wonderful, warm, and kind. I'm really looking forward to getting more involved and am so thankful to Husband for giving me this opportunity to do something I love.
Today I was shadowed on my first session as a cat TLC volunteer at the Peninsula Humane Society and SPCA. It was wonderful and I start my first solo volunteer shift this Friday afternoon.
They are really in need of volunteers, so if any of you like cats and have time to kill -- especially during the weekdays, I urge you to come down and volunteer. The shelter is overrun with cats -- so many that a few are only getting out of their kennels once or twice a week. That's not nearly enough. Cat TLC volunteers take cats out, play with them, give them love, and generally make them happy while the kitties wait to find their forever homes. It's so hard not to want to adopt a few myself, and each time I go in I fall a little in love with one or two. I just wish they all had the love and comfort of a family like Cipher (the World's Most Amazing Cat, Screw You if You Don't Agree tm) has with us. They all deserve a family. And if you want to get involved in an incredibly worthwhile organization, I can't recommend PHS too highly. Everyone I've meet there has been wonderful, warm, and kind. I'm really looking forward to getting more involved and am so thankful to Husband for giving me this opportunity to do something I love.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Now taking reservations for leftovers
So every year when I have to drag poor Husband to my mom's for a stomach-churning white trash Thanksgiving, we compensate the next day by having our own Thanksgiving the next day. We do the whole meal over again: turkey, cranberries, sweet potatoes, pie, you name it.
Well, yesterday I went shopping for our provisions but when I was looking at turkeys they didn't have anything smaller than 12 lbs. So I decided to try a different store later in the week and buy just a turkey breast. Then I went to the checkout. Because it was both bookgroup night and I was shopping for Thanksgiving, it was a pretty hefty grocery bill. And at the checkout, the nice lady said that this week, if you spend over $100, you get a free turkey. "Well, why not?" I asked myself. I hadn't bought one yet and this would save us some money. So I accepted. And off the bag girl trots to the free turkey bin and comes back with a fucking 15 pound frozen monstrosity. Really, the thing must be part ostrich. Or mastadon.
I couldn't actually refuse at that point (mostly because it was immediately put in a plastic bag and dumped into the under part of the grocery cart) so off I go with the Turkey That Ate Montana.
So now Husband and I, in our Thanksgiving dinner for two, now have about 7 pounds of turkey each we have to get through.
I am hereby inviting all our friends to join us on Friday for Thanksgiving, Part Deux. Seriously, if any of you want to come and hang out, have some dinner, play some games, listen to great music, and help us get through this mega-bird, we'd love to have you. Please. (Please?)
I shall now start clipping recipes for turkey soup, turkey pot pie, turkey tacos...
Fifteen pounds?!?!?!
So every year when I have to drag poor Husband to my mom's for a stomach-churning white trash Thanksgiving, we compensate the next day by having our own Thanksgiving the next day. We do the whole meal over again: turkey, cranberries, sweet potatoes, pie, you name it.
Well, yesterday I went shopping for our provisions but when I was looking at turkeys they didn't have anything smaller than 12 lbs. So I decided to try a different store later in the week and buy just a turkey breast. Then I went to the checkout. Because it was both bookgroup night and I was shopping for Thanksgiving, it was a pretty hefty grocery bill. And at the checkout, the nice lady said that this week, if you spend over $100, you get a free turkey. "Well, why not?" I asked myself. I hadn't bought one yet and this would save us some money. So I accepted. And off the bag girl trots to the free turkey bin and comes back with a fucking 15 pound frozen monstrosity. Really, the thing must be part ostrich. Or mastadon.
I couldn't actually refuse at that point (mostly because it was immediately put in a plastic bag and dumped into the under part of the grocery cart) so off I go with the Turkey That Ate Montana.
So now Husband and I, in our Thanksgiving dinner for two, now have about 7 pounds of turkey each we have to get through.
I am hereby inviting all our friends to join us on Friday for Thanksgiving, Part Deux. Seriously, if any of you want to come and hang out, have some dinner, play some games, listen to great music, and help us get through this mega-bird, we'd love to have you. Please. (Please?)
I shall now start clipping recipes for turkey soup, turkey pot pie, turkey tacos...
Fifteen pounds?!?!?!
Monday, November 24, 2008
Sorry About Those Treaties
So I'm on the air twice tomorrow. From noon-3 I'll be hosting a show I call "The Rent Party." It's a mix of blues, jazz, world, and bluegrass. Not my usual fare, but hopefully enjoyable.
Then in my regular spot, 6-8 pm, I'm doing my 8th annual Thanksgiving week Native American music special. This time around it's entitled "Sorry About Those Treaties." It'll be a mix of traditional and contemporary music from a variety of First Nations artists. I'm sorry it's not a full 3-hour slot, but it'll be damned good anyway, I promise.
You can listen to KZSU online or via iTunes. (Radio -> College -> KZSU). And I'll be updating my playlist as I go on our wonderful friend Zookeeper.
So I'm on the air twice tomorrow. From noon-3 I'll be hosting a show I call "The Rent Party." It's a mix of blues, jazz, world, and bluegrass. Not my usual fare, but hopefully enjoyable.
Then in my regular spot, 6-8 pm, I'm doing my 8th annual Thanksgiving week Native American music special. This time around it's entitled "Sorry About Those Treaties." It'll be a mix of traditional and contemporary music from a variety of First Nations artists. I'm sorry it's not a full 3-hour slot, but it'll be damned good anyway, I promise.
You can listen to KZSU online or via iTunes. (Radio -> College -> KZSU). And I'll be updating my playlist as I go on our wonderful friend Zookeeper.
I miss Freddie
It doesn't seem possible, but it was on this day way back in 1991 that Queen front-man Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. I've always thought he had one of the best voices in rock music and I'm a huge Queen fan. I recall years ago walking by one of his panels when we went to the display of the AIDS Quilt in D.C. and feeling tremendously sad.
AIDS isn't in the news much these days. It's been supplanted by breast cancer as the disease of popular consciousness. Nothing against breast cancer, it's a horrible disease and deserves as much attention and research as possible. But I wish the tragic urgency of the 80s hadn't faded so much. I don't miss the pain, but I do miss the money it brought in.
It's hard to comprehend how long The Steves have been gone. I still miss them every day. After cursing the fact that AIDS has faded from people's minds, I have to confess that I'm one of the guilty. I still write the checks (though not as much as we used to since we're living on one income) but I don't give my time the way I did. Illness kept me from AIDS Walk this year for the first time in, what, 15 years? And i don't give my time, or my heart, like I used to. These days I volunteer with kitties, not the dying. Easier on the soul but I do feel the "I'm not doing enough" guilt. And I do the old "if not me, who?" trip on myself to try (and fail) to convince myself to go back. But I honestly don't think I can.
But what I can do is let today's sad anniversary inspire me send a bit of money to the American Foundation for AIDS Research. And maybe play "You're My Best Friend" and hope it doesn't make me cry.
It doesn't seem possible, but it was on this day way back in 1991 that Queen front-man Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. I've always thought he had one of the best voices in rock music and I'm a huge Queen fan. I recall years ago walking by one of his panels when we went to the display of the AIDS Quilt in D.C. and feeling tremendously sad.
AIDS isn't in the news much these days. It's been supplanted by breast cancer as the disease of popular consciousness. Nothing against breast cancer, it's a horrible disease and deserves as much attention and research as possible. But I wish the tragic urgency of the 80s hadn't faded so much. I don't miss the pain, but I do miss the money it brought in.
It's hard to comprehend how long The Steves have been gone. I still miss them every day. After cursing the fact that AIDS has faded from people's minds, I have to confess that I'm one of the guilty. I still write the checks (though not as much as we used to since we're living on one income) but I don't give my time the way I did. Illness kept me from AIDS Walk this year for the first time in, what, 15 years? And i don't give my time, or my heart, like I used to. These days I volunteer with kitties, not the dying. Easier on the soul but I do feel the "I'm not doing enough" guilt. And I do the old "if not me, who?" trip on myself to try (and fail) to convince myself to go back. But I honestly don't think I can.
But what I can do is let today's sad anniversary inspire me send a bit of money to the American Foundation for AIDS Research. And maybe play "You're My Best Friend" and hope it doesn't make me cry.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Quantum of popcorn
Today Husband and I saw the new James Bond movie Quantum of Solace. First the good: Daniel Craig is very sexy, Jdudi Dench is a goddess, Jeffrey Wright is back as Felix, and there is a bit more (though not much) human than Casino Royale.
Now the bad: Some of the scenes were edited with such quick cuts that my brain couldn't register what I was seeing before the next shot came into frame. I know I missed things (especially the opening car chase and a scene of the famous Sienese horse race, The Palio), because I just couldn't grasp the shot before it was gone. The plot is as incomprehensible as most recent Bond films. (Something to do with water, a secret organization, personal vendettas, and lots of who can you trusts.) And there weren't any really cool gadgets.
I enjoyed it, but the one things that's missing from a lot of the recent Bond movies is that they aren't films I want to watch multiple times. The Bond classics, like Dr. No, You Only Live Twice, and Goldfinger I could see over and over again. But I doubt I'll want to curl up with Quantum of Solace because it's not much fun. Sure, it's a good action flick with lots of loud noises and macho shootings and stuff. But I miss Q, and the sly humor Bond used to have, and there wasn't even a good sex scene. Plus we seem to have regressed in terms of what Bond girls can do. Remember how cool Michelle Yeoh was in Tomorrow Never Dies? She was a woman who was completely Bond's equal and could literally kick ass as well as he.
Well the most recent Bond chick, in spite of being part of her country's secret police, needed Bond to tell her how to kill someone, fell apart at the end, and was generally wimpy throughout. Luckily Dame Judi (as M) was around to show just how strong and fabulous women can be.
Today Husband and I saw the new James Bond movie Quantum of Solace. First the good: Daniel Craig is very sexy, Jdudi Dench is a goddess, Jeffrey Wright is back as Felix, and there is a bit more (though not much) human than Casino Royale.
Now the bad: Some of the scenes were edited with such quick cuts that my brain couldn't register what I was seeing before the next shot came into frame. I know I missed things (especially the opening car chase and a scene of the famous Sienese horse race, The Palio), because I just couldn't grasp the shot before it was gone. The plot is as incomprehensible as most recent Bond films. (Something to do with water, a secret organization, personal vendettas, and lots of who can you trusts.) And there weren't any really cool gadgets.
I enjoyed it, but the one things that's missing from a lot of the recent Bond movies is that they aren't films I want to watch multiple times. The Bond classics, like Dr. No, You Only Live Twice, and Goldfinger I could see over and over again. But I doubt I'll want to curl up with Quantum of Solace because it's not much fun. Sure, it's a good action flick with lots of loud noises and macho shootings and stuff. But I miss Q, and the sly humor Bond used to have, and there wasn't even a good sex scene. Plus we seem to have regressed in terms of what Bond girls can do. Remember how cool Michelle Yeoh was in Tomorrow Never Dies? She was a woman who was completely Bond's equal and could literally kick ass as well as he.
Well the most recent Bond chick, in spite of being part of her country's secret police, needed Bond to tell her how to kill someone, fell apart at the end, and was generally wimpy throughout. Luckily Dame Judi (as M) was around to show just how strong and fabulous women can be.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
God on Trial
So most of today's TV programming is total crap. But every so often something comes along to remind you of what a powerful medium TV is. One such event is God on Trial on Masterpiece Contemporary. It was on PBS earlier this month and I hope you haven't missed it because it truly does live up to the "masterpiece" billing.
The story is that a group of prisoners at Auschwitz put God on trial for breach of contract; basically breaking his covenant with the Jews. Whether or not this actually happened is still a debate but it's entirely plausible. How often, in times of crisis, do people ask "how could God let this happen?"
What makes God on Trial so amazing are the performances. , Stephen Dillane, Stellan Skarsgard, and Rupert Graves play the tribunal...a rabbi, a professor of law, and a young man at odds with his more religious father. The other prisoners cover all walks of life, from a Polish glove maker who wonders why his mother had to suffer to a French physician who argues against the existence of God from a scientific point of view. But it's the wonderful stage actor, Antony Sher (who I had the privilege of seeing as both Richard III and Shylock with the Royal Shakespeare Company) who makes the most dramatic impression. He doesn't even speak until over an hour into this 90-minute film but when he does you can't take your eyes off him. He makes the most brilliantly-written argument against a benign God that I've ever heard and his performance is passionately perfect.
God on Trial is not easy to watch. For anyone with a heart nothing about the Holocaust is. The fact that, at the end, half of these characters we've come to know and care about are herded off to be executed only adds to the sense of pain that you feel. But it's worth it. It's powerful, thought-provoking, and one of the finest things I've seen on TV in years. I'll be thinking about this one for a while.
So most of today's TV programming is total crap. But every so often something comes along to remind you of what a powerful medium TV is. One such event is God on Trial on Masterpiece Contemporary. It was on PBS earlier this month and I hope you haven't missed it because it truly does live up to the "masterpiece" billing.
The story is that a group of prisoners at Auschwitz put God on trial for breach of contract; basically breaking his covenant with the Jews. Whether or not this actually happened is still a debate but it's entirely plausible. How often, in times of crisis, do people ask "how could God let this happen?"
What makes God on Trial so amazing are the performances. , Stephen Dillane, Stellan Skarsgard, and Rupert Graves play the tribunal...a rabbi, a professor of law, and a young man at odds with his more religious father. The other prisoners cover all walks of life, from a Polish glove maker who wonders why his mother had to suffer to a French physician who argues against the existence of God from a scientific point of view. But it's the wonderful stage actor, Antony Sher (who I had the privilege of seeing as both Richard III and Shylock with the Royal Shakespeare Company) who makes the most dramatic impression. He doesn't even speak until over an hour into this 90-minute film but when he does you can't take your eyes off him. He makes the most brilliantly-written argument against a benign God that I've ever heard and his performance is passionately perfect.
God on Trial is not easy to watch. For anyone with a heart nothing about the Holocaust is. The fact that, at the end, half of these characters we've come to know and care about are herded off to be executed only adds to the sense of pain that you feel. But it's worth it. It's powerful, thought-provoking, and one of the finest things I've seen on TV in years. I'll be thinking about this one for a while.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
Meanwhile, back in the 1600's...
A "cousin" (the relationship is too complicated and dull to explain) went to the village in France where my ancestors are from. And, while there, received a copy of their genealogical research into our family. Another cousin (see previous parenthetical comment) gave me a copy and I now have my father's family back into the 1600's.
It's both fascinating and strangely anticlimactic. I didn't do the research, so I don't feel that sense of discovery. And the historian in me wants to know the documentation. It's just a list of name that I can't collaborate. I can't find records to substantiate the tree, so I'm not certain where the French cousins got the information. A family bible? A private detective. I suppose living there they have access to French records that I can't access from California. But I wish I had the evidence to back all this up.
There's a lot of information to copy onto my version of the family tree; a process complicated by the fact that I'm working from a copy of a copy of a copy and some of the writing is both small and faint. A magnifying glass (shades of Sherlock Holmes!) helps, but there are a few names and/or dates that are infuriatingly undecipherable.
But I'm learning a lot. For example, all of my male relatives seem to be named either "Jacques" or "Jean" and the women are heavy on the "Catherines" and the "Maries." They also seem to be impressively long-lived. Many into their 70s, which was unusual for that time. One of the things that really makes me wish for documentation is that the family tree lists exact birth and death dates for many of these long-dead grandparents. So how do they know that someone was born on July 17, 1684? I want to see the proof myself. (Maybe I'll just have to go back to France and this time actually get out of Paris.)
Husband got out the atlas and we found the series of little villages where they were from. They seem to be within a 30 mile radius, which makes sense as people didn't travel that far afield in the 17th century. All from the Pyrenees, not too far from the Spanish border. (Tour de France country.)
It's a fascinating set of documents that will take me ages to get through. In addition to the printed materials from the French cousins, the American cousins have hand-written notes from members of my grandmother's generation. These detail the family after they came to the US and are about as easy to read as hieroglyphics. Luckily I learned how to read hieroglyphics when I was a Classics major.
Anyway, it's a huge breakthrough in terms of family research. I wish I could have made the discoveries myself, but it's wonderful to have so much information going back so far. Apparently I have no famous relatives. I'm not the long-lost granddaughter of Charlemagne or Napoleon. (Husband has famous knife-wielder and Texas freedom fighter Jim Bowie on one offshoot of his tree.) But it's wonderful to know who and where I come from.
A "cousin" (the relationship is too complicated and dull to explain) went to the village in France where my ancestors are from. And, while there, received a copy of their genealogical research into our family. Another cousin (see previous parenthetical comment) gave me a copy and I now have my father's family back into the 1600's.
It's both fascinating and strangely anticlimactic. I didn't do the research, so I don't feel that sense of discovery. And the historian in me wants to know the documentation. It's just a list of name that I can't collaborate. I can't find records to substantiate the tree, so I'm not certain where the French cousins got the information. A family bible? A private detective. I suppose living there they have access to French records that I can't access from California. But I wish I had the evidence to back all this up.
There's a lot of information to copy onto my version of the family tree; a process complicated by the fact that I'm working from a copy of a copy of a copy and some of the writing is both small and faint. A magnifying glass (shades of Sherlock Holmes!) helps, but there are a few names and/or dates that are infuriatingly undecipherable.
But I'm learning a lot. For example, all of my male relatives seem to be named either "Jacques" or "Jean" and the women are heavy on the "Catherines" and the "Maries." They also seem to be impressively long-lived. Many into their 70s, which was unusual for that time. One of the things that really makes me wish for documentation is that the family tree lists exact birth and death dates for many of these long-dead grandparents. So how do they know that someone was born on July 17, 1684? I want to see the proof myself. (Maybe I'll just have to go back to France and this time actually get out of Paris.)
Husband got out the atlas and we found the series of little villages where they were from. They seem to be within a 30 mile radius, which makes sense as people didn't travel that far afield in the 17th century. All from the Pyrenees, not too far from the Spanish border. (Tour de France country.)
It's a fascinating set of documents that will take me ages to get through. In addition to the printed materials from the French cousins, the American cousins have hand-written notes from members of my grandmother's generation. These detail the family after they came to the US and are about as easy to read as hieroglyphics. Luckily I learned how to read hieroglyphics when I was a Classics major.
Anyway, it's a huge breakthrough in terms of family research. I wish I could have made the discoveries myself, but it's wonderful to have so much information going back so far. Apparently I have no famous relatives. I'm not the long-lost granddaughter of Charlemagne or Napoleon. (Husband has famous knife-wielder and Texas freedom fighter Jim Bowie on one offshoot of his tree.) But it's wonderful to know who and where I come from.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
I am the worst human being on the planet
Yesterday we took Smith back to the Humane Society. After a sleepless night and an awful morning, Forrest and I realized it wasn't going to work. I know we didn't give it much time -- but we know Cipher and she was miserable. We've never heard her hiss, snarl, growl, or spit before, but put another cat in her territory and she turns into Satan's pussycat. Both she and Smith wanted to be Alpha cats and there was no negotiation between them.
I think the big problem was that Smith wasn't our choice. We might be OK with another cat, but one we chose because we liked him/her and because we thought he/she would be OK with Cipher. This cat was kind of an accident, we took her because my mom changed her mind. And we thought it was worth a try rather than just taking her back to the shelter. But it was a huge mistake. And Fo and I just weren't that committed to having her that we were willing to put up with a few weeks/months of fighting and upsetting Cipher.
And, now that Smith's gone....we feel awful. Relieved, but guilty. I cried when we left her at the shelter and feel like I'm the most heartless human ever. We know it's for the best, that in the end she'll find her perfect home. We just feel awful that it wasn't us and that the poor thing had to go back into a kennel. Being a volunteer at the Humane Society I know she'll be taken care of, will get lots of volunteer love, and will one day rule her own household (like Cipher rules ours), but I still feel bad. It's also going to be hard going to the Humane Society every week and see little Smith in the cat room and know I brought her there.
Like I said, intellectually I know it was the right thing to do. But emotionally I'm a wreck. I couldn't shut off my brain and sleep last night....I just kept seeing that cute little pink nose and those sweet green eyes.
So, I'm the worst human being on the planet.
Yesterday we took Smith back to the Humane Society. After a sleepless night and an awful morning, Forrest and I realized it wasn't going to work. I know we didn't give it much time -- but we know Cipher and she was miserable. We've never heard her hiss, snarl, growl, or spit before, but put another cat in her territory and she turns into Satan's pussycat. Both she and Smith wanted to be Alpha cats and there was no negotiation between them.
I think the big problem was that Smith wasn't our choice. We might be OK with another cat, but one we chose because we liked him/her and because we thought he/she would be OK with Cipher. This cat was kind of an accident, we took her because my mom changed her mind. And we thought it was worth a try rather than just taking her back to the shelter. But it was a huge mistake. And Fo and I just weren't that committed to having her that we were willing to put up with a few weeks/months of fighting and upsetting Cipher.
And, now that Smith's gone....we feel awful. Relieved, but guilty. I cried when we left her at the shelter and feel like I'm the most heartless human ever. We know it's for the best, that in the end she'll find her perfect home. We just feel awful that it wasn't us and that the poor thing had to go back into a kennel. Being a volunteer at the Humane Society I know she'll be taken care of, will get lots of volunteer love, and will one day rule her own household (like Cipher rules ours), but I still feel bad. It's also going to be hard going to the Humane Society every week and see little Smith in the cat room and know I brought her there.
Like I said, intellectually I know it was the right thing to do. But emotionally I'm a wreck. I couldn't shut off my brain and sleep last night....I just kept seeing that cute little pink nose and those sweet green eyes.
So, I'm the worst human being on the planet.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Cipher vs. Smith - Round 2
Is this the cat my mom was talking about? The scaredy cat that hid all the time? Cause she's nothing like that. Smith is curious (she's sniffed the entire house), active (she jumped up on the kitchen sink), and actually quite aggressive (taking the hissing initiative at poor Cipher).
Husband and I are nervous wrecks. They met. (The cats, not us.) And circled each other like prizefighters for two hours. Cipher stalked her so low to the ground she wouldn't have cleared a speed bump. Smith staked out every room in the house, hid under the sofa, crawled under the bed, tried to pee in Cipher's box, and generally raised hell.
There was hissing. There was growling. There were noises usually associated with Linda Blair's head turning around.
And through it all, we were freaking out. We've never seen Cipher like this. Our sweet, playful, loving kitty became sullen, nervous, and angry.
We know it's natural. We've heard from the experts (Husband's folks who have 5 cats -- my ex who has 4) about integrating kitties and how it takes time and patience. We're just not sure we're brave enough.
Smith is a really sweet cat, and we'd hate to have to bring her back to the shelter. The poor thing must be so stressed and confused....my mother only adopted her a month ago, then she's here, and next....? But it's so hard to be strong in the face of our Cipher being upset, our not being sure we want another cat, and Smith causing havoc in the house.
God do I need a nap.
Is this the cat my mom was talking about? The scaredy cat that hid all the time? Cause she's nothing like that. Smith is curious (she's sniffed the entire house), active (she jumped up on the kitchen sink), and actually quite aggressive (taking the hissing initiative at poor Cipher).
Husband and I are nervous wrecks. They met. (The cats, not us.) And circled each other like prizefighters for two hours. Cipher stalked her so low to the ground she wouldn't have cleared a speed bump. Smith staked out every room in the house, hid under the sofa, crawled under the bed, tried to pee in Cipher's box, and generally raised hell.
There was hissing. There was growling. There were noises usually associated with Linda Blair's head turning around.
And through it all, we were freaking out. We've never seen Cipher like this. Our sweet, playful, loving kitty became sullen, nervous, and angry.
We know it's natural. We've heard from the experts (Husband's folks who have 5 cats -- my ex who has 4) about integrating kitties and how it takes time and patience. We're just not sure we're brave enough.
Smith is a really sweet cat, and we'd hate to have to bring her back to the shelter. The poor thing must be so stressed and confused....my mother only adopted her a month ago, then she's here, and next....? But it's so hard to be strong in the face of our Cipher being upset, our not being sure we want another cat, and Smith causing havoc in the house.
God do I need a nap.
Cipher vs. Smith - Round 1
The new cat is in residence. We've tentatively named her "Smith." My reasoning is the poor thing has had 3 names if 3 weeks so she's in need of an alias. The name might change as we get to know her better, but for now it's Smith.
And Cipher and Smith are both in the process of being miffed. Smith is in the office with Husband, with the door closed and his fingers crossed. Cipher is sitting right outside, sniffing and meowing. They had a brief interlude, which involved Smith hissing at Cipher and Cipher puffing up her tail to approximately the size of an adult boa constrictor. Smith has made several alien noises, none of which were met with anything like approval from Cipher.
I'm in the living room, hiding, having taken an Imitrex due to a severe cat-induced stress headache. Cipher, by the way, hasn't stopped meowing in about 10 minutes. It's going to be a seriously long night.
Are you sure none of you want a cat???
The new cat is in residence. We've tentatively named her "Smith." My reasoning is the poor thing has had 3 names if 3 weeks so she's in need of an alias. The name might change as we get to know her better, but for now it's Smith.
And Cipher and Smith are both in the process of being miffed. Smith is in the office with Husband, with the door closed and his fingers crossed. Cipher is sitting right outside, sniffing and meowing. They had a brief interlude, which involved Smith hissing at Cipher and Cipher puffing up her tail to approximately the size of an adult boa constrictor. Smith has made several alien noises, none of which were met with anything like approval from Cipher.
I'm in the living room, hiding, having taken an Imitrex due to a severe cat-induced stress headache. Cipher, by the way, hasn't stopped meowing in about 10 minutes. It's going to be a seriously long night.
Are you sure none of you want a cat???
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