Monday, February 21, 2005

Why is it...?
That commercials are always so much louder than the show you're watching? That there are people who can manage to drive for miles on the freeway with their turn signal on? That yellow rain slickers are only worn by children? That commercial radio stations get away with playing the same pablum as every other commercial radio station? That high tech offices typically have dozens of unwanted keyboards laying around, but you can bleed to death looking for a band-aid? That people are willing to embarass themselves in front of millions of people for the sake of being on TV? That milllions of people will watch idiots embarassing themselves rather than read a book? That people still feel the need to explain on their answering machines that they're "not home right now, please leave a message after the tone?" That the people who scream the loudest about "Christian values," are the least charitable, least accepting people in the world? That the word "party" gets used more as a verb than as a noun? That people actually care what kind of exercises Jennifer Aniston does? That Bush won the elction....any election? That men are always surprised when a woman actually knows something about sports? That more people have heard of Homer Simpson than have read Homer the poet? That Gwenyth Paltrow has a career? That people can get paid $5 million a year for playing a game, but cops and teachers can't afford to buy a house? That the damned mockingbird outside my window wakes me up at 6:30 every weekend, but doesn't sing a note during the week? That the asnwer to "paper or plastic" still confuses me? That I should pay extra for shoes that hurt my feet than for shoes I can walk in? That Hawaii is always too far away? That people feel the need to be reachable at every minute of every day? That people would rather send an e-mail than walk down the hallway for a face-to-face conversation? That pot stickers can cure everything? That old people in love always make me smile? That there are so few news stories that make me feel hopeful?
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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

1) Because you don't understand, and if they yell louder then you'll understand better. Like people who don't speak your language. Just yell, then they'll understand.
2) Americans, as a rule, don't treat driving with the respect that it deserves. They think it is a time when they can be doing other things, like shaving, eating, drinking, applying makeup, catching up on all the phone calls that they couldn't make from work. Look at the dash dammit! Your car might be telling you something!
3) Because we don't like looking like children. (anymore)
4) Because ClearChannel bought every-freakin-thing and then f*cked it all up. Fight the pablum! Get an iPod. (oops, sorry. is it ok to push an underdog's monopoly?)
5) Because no one is in charge of the First-Aid kit. Really, how badly hurt can you get in high-tech? Oh... That bad? Ow.
6) People are sheep. Hollywood says we should all want what they have. People are sheep. Did I say that already? People are sheep.
7) Books might introduce new ideas or thoughts. People are sheep. New ideas frighten them.
8) People lack originality. People are frightened by stories on answering machines. It makes them doubt they called the right number. So keep on doing it. It's fun. It's a good way to filter "the people you want to talk to" from the sheep.
9) Read between the lines: Hatred of different people is the strongest "Christian Family Value". Without hatred, xenophobia, tithing, and constant recruitment religions can't survive.
10) Dude... 'Cuz. Wow... Dude...
11) See above: People as Sheeps.
12) CIA Plot. Ain't no other way to 'splain it.
13) Because it's rare. And hot. (except that I don't care about sports... unless there is horsepower involved, and they turn to the RIGHT as well as to the left)
14) Easier. The poet requires thought and work.
15) She's preeeeeetty. (yes, I'm shallow, but you knew that already... I'm a sheep.)
16) American priorities are all messed up. No news there.
17) See above: CIA Plot. See, you shoulda voted for W. It's coming back to haunt you in the form of am annoying birdy.
18) Plastic. Save a tree, kill a Dino. After all, what has a Dinosaur done for you lately? (other than propell your car to work everyday)
19) You shouldn't. You should pay even MORE extra for great looking shoes that DON'T hurt your feetsies.
20) It isn't too far. Your priorities need adjusting. Food vs. Kaua'i. Duh.
21) See above. People (read: Sheep) need constant guidance and approval from the other sheepses.
22) Faces are scary. E-mail is safe. That's why I'm writing here. Anonymous... but not really.
23) Mmmmmm.
24) Because it's rare. And because we all aspire to be like that when surrounded by the opposite.
25) Hopeful? Hopeful doesn't sell the news commercials. "What's gonna kill you next. Film at 11." THAT sells the news.

9:49 AM

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