My Shameful Secrets
I saw an ad on TV the other night for a bra that had as its big selling point "special privacy panels." What they meant was "extra fabric over the nipples."

Here's the deal. I have nipples. Phew, so glad I got that out. I also sweat (because if I don't, I explode). And yet there are all these companies that want me to spend money hiding such natural things. Everybody in the world has nipples. Big shock. Why should I pay extra for a bra to hide them? I mean it's not like I walk around with erect nipples all the time. And sure, I don't want to smell like a locker room. But when it's hot (like today) I sweat. Yes, I wear deodorant. But there's an ad that shows these women embarrassed to raise their arms because of sweat under their arms. Oh, how shameful! OK, who is that fussy?

People are weird. They get all freaked out by whatever Madison Avenue tells them to get freaked out about. Obviously I don't want to offend anyone with my BO, but I'm not going to stop picking up cats because someone might see that my shirt is damp (it was close to 90 today for goodness sake!). Sorry, but I just can't get upset because I have a body.