Hello. I'm Lost

Have any of you seen Lost? I haven't. It has a hugely loyal cult following in spite of the fact that it makes absolutely no fucking sense at all. Husband watched it. Stopped watching it. Watched it again. He gave up when he lost the will to follow it anymore. Then they dragged him back in. He still doesn't understand it, but he's going along with it.

What cracks me up is hearing people try to summarize it. They've watched it non-stop, try to make sense of all the nonsense, try to predict how it will all end, and end up proving that nobody understands it. So I thought, since I've never seen anything more than 5 minutes of the show at a time, I thought I'd try to summarize what the show is all about.

So hereby I give you Decca's Guide to Getting Lost:

- There was a plane crash.
- There was an island.
- There was a handsome doctor guy who is either good or bad, depending upon the episode.
- There is this hot con woman chick who is either good or bad, depending upon the episode.
- There is a bad guy who may or may not be either good or bad, depending upon the episode.
- There is a fat guy who is always good.
- There is a Middle Eastern/Israeli/Indian spy guy who is either....well, you know.
- There is a formerly crippled bald guy who seems to change personas every scene. And who may or may not be god/satan/or a pillar of smoke/his own father.
- The island has a hatch with cryptic stuff inside, like a count-down machine and a completely different plane of existence.
- The aforesaid plane of existence seems to have also experienced a crash.
- In addition to polar bears and palm trees, this island comes complete with other communities, torture cells, and endless supplies of flashbacks, flashfowards, flashsideways, flashdowns, and flashups.
- It is apparently not a good idea to either have a kid or be a kid on this island.
- It is also, apparently, not a good idea to be Korean.
- Laws of time, relativity, space and logic are not observed on the island. According to the island any of us could be leading any number of parallel lives at any place and any time in our own special way.
- On the island it is extremely important that you notice every single person you come across in your day because the fact that the woman who works at Starbucks looks exactly like the woman who sat in Row 47b is a clue to who you are and what is going on around you.

The funny thing about all this is that I don't make any less sense in this synopsis than one written by anyone who is loyal to the show. No....really!