Saturday, May 10, 2008

Amo, amas, amat
Finally all those Latin classic (oh the glory of being a Classics major) have paid off. The Vatican has now put part of their website into Latin. And prowling through (the only way I can bring myself to look at the Vatican website is to test my language skills) I am dismayed to realize just how much Latin I've forgotten.

I guess I should brush up before our Grand Tour in the fall.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Attack of the Swedes. Part two.
I have already written about my horror of, and loathing for, Ikea.(You'll have to scroll to the bottom if you actually want to read the original post.)

Well, despite my vow to never, ever, ever go into another Ikea. I went. I was only able to stand it because Husband promised to hold my hand the entire time. And he did. Like I was a hyperactive 4-year old he had to reign in. And after a gap of a few years since my last visit, I can honestly report...

Ikea still scares the crap out of me.

The cavernous and freaky concrete bunker of a garage is still as vast and forbidding as a murder scene. The entrance is still always about half a mile from where you think it should be. And the crushingly overwhelming layout of the store continues to haunt my dreams with visions of Swedish rooms in a box and aimless families wandering glassy-eyed through carefully arranged tableau vivants of domestic tranquility. It's freaking terrifying.

We went because Cipher (The World's Most Amazing Cat, Screw You if You Don't Agree (tm)) basically ate our living room chair and we've been desperate to replace it for about 9 months now. We must have gone to a dozen furniture store looking for a chair that wasn't hideous, hideously uncomfortable, or hideously expensive. As a last resort, Husband suggested Ikea. I wept.

So we went. And I hyperventilated my way through the entire store, dodging wild kids, ambling grandmothers, and unimaginative couples who think buying prepackaged houses en masse is the height of creativity. I tried to develop a mantra to get me through the ordeal, but I was too overcome by consumeristic claustrophobia. Husband, meanwhile, found my terror amusing -- but he very kindly held my hand like a lifeline to sanity and calmly found the chair area so we could accomplish our mission.

Yes, we found a chair (I'm embarrassed to admit.) Since Cipher will probably eat this one too, we didn't want to spend a fortune, and I think we're both OK with it. Husband actually had to go back into the store on his own to arrange delivery. I, meanwhile, need a cold compress and a Valium.
Our neighbors are aliens
Very nice aliens, but aliens nonetheless. I mean they must be. How do I know? They never have any garbage.

Granted they might be the most eco-conscious people on the planet. And they are very "green." He likes to ride his bike to work. They like to camp, hike, sail...all those outdoorsy things that give me hives. But they also have two why don't they ever have any garbage?

Between the two of us (and, of course, Cipher, the World's Most Amazing Cat, Screw You if You Don't Agree (tm)) Husband and I can pretty much fill our can each the recycle bin. But our neighbors? Rarely do you see them put their cans out on trash night. They often put out the yard clipping can. And every so often the recycle bin. But the actual trash can hasn't moved from the side of their house in over a month. Now I tell you, that's just not natural.

Maybe they compost. But that doesn't explain not having any actual garbage. Perhaps they have a secret goat in their backyard. But four people living in one house and never having any garbage is just plain weird. I tell you, it's un-American! The only way I can explain it is that they are aliens. They eat styrofoam. They have chicken bones for a midnight snack. When they watch TV, they sit down with a big bowl of empty toothpaste tubes, wet paper towels, and worn-out socks.

Really, they're very nice. For aliens.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Concerned about alien abductions?
Who isn't? But thankfully, help is on the way with this Stop Alien Abductions kit. Order yours today. Makes a great Christmas gift.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

War and peace
So far the war in Iraq has cost $3 trillion. Check out 3 where you can see what you could buy for the cost of the war.

For the past week, KZSU has been having a Peace Week special. Tonight is my contribution to the theme. I was somewhat hampered by the fact that most world music tracks aren't in English, so it's a bit difficult to know what the song is about. Of course, tracks called "No More War" and "Let There be Peace," are lovely, but I've had to do a bit more work to find material. However, I think I have a full show prepared. Due to baseball, I have a shorter than usual show. I'll go on air at approximately 6:15 and go until 8. I invite you to tune in.

Monday, May 05, 2008

Thank you, Mrs. Loving
Mildred Loving has died at the age of 68. Don't know her? Well, in 1967 she (a black woman) challenged Virgina's ban on interracial marriage (her husband was white). This lead to the Supreme Court ending the laws against such marriages.

As a happily married woman (in an interracial marriage) I have so much to thank her for. Bravo for having the courage, strength, and wisdom to challenge these laws and make love legal.

Now if we can just get gay and lesbian marriages made legal, we'll all be able to live happily ever after.
Please tell me this is a joke
This has got to be a joke. Doesn't it? It's not real, is it? Please tell me it isn't real.