Monday, March 10, 2008

I am not every woman...
This kind of goes along with the "I am not fashionable" post, but I am so sick of phrases that begin "every woman."

"Every woman dreams of her wedding day." (Overheard on a news program about the cost of weddings.)
Nope, not once. I didn't play "dress up bride" as a child. I didn't spend hours in high school designing my perfect dress. I never poured over Brides magazine and daydreamed about flowers and limos. Never. And I'm sure I'm not alone in this. Blanket statements like this piss me off, because it makes it seems like there's something wrong with women who don't go along with the pre-conceived flow. But there's nothing wrong with not dreaming about your wedding. I mean look at me. I never have, never did, and I'm still happily married -- even if I didn't start planning the day when I was 7.

"Every woman has her own beauty secrets." (Overheard in a commercial about some beauty product whose name and purpose eludes me.)
Again, no. I have no beauty secrets. I have no beauty routine. I brush my teeth. I wash my hair. I bathe. I use prescription lotion on my face because I have some minor skin problems. That's it. No eye liner tips. No super-special lipstick. No hints for the best way to pluck your brows. I think the only beauty secret I have (and it's not much of a secret) is "don't care what other people think."

"Every woman wants a Prince Charming." (Overheard in a cheesy movie.)
Oh God, spare me! Are we still, in the 21st century, perpetuating the myth that women are fairy princesses who need big, strong men to rescue them? Come on, ladies, grow some balls! I can't think of anything worse that perceiving of myself as a helpless flower waiting for the knight on the white horse. I don't need a man to rescue me. And I'm not sure what I'd be rescued from. There aren't a lot of dragons in the SF Bay Area. All I ever wanted was a nice guy who'd treat me well and whom I could love and respect in return. I wanted a best friend, not a romance hero. And I got exactly what I wanted in Husband.

"Every woman needs the perfect little black dress." (Read in a magazine while waiting at the doctor's office.)
Why? Why do I need a black dress? Why does it have to be little? Will a little red dress do? Will a big black dress suffice? What if it's not perfect? What if it's only marginally acceptable? Oh the pressure! I can't stand it! My head will explode! You know, not once in my 40+ years of life have I ever gone anywhere where a "perfect little black dress" was required. And guess what? I survived. I'm happy. I have a great marriage and good friends. But do I deserve all that happiness if I don't have the dress? Is my happiness just a sham?

No, I must believe I'm happy....even without the dress, the prince, the beauty tips, and the dream wedding. Pity me.

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