Our neighbors are aliens
Very nice aliens, but aliens nonetheless. I mean they must be. How do I know? They never have any garbage.

Granted they might be the most eco-conscious people on the planet. And they are very "green." He likes to ride his bike to work. They like to camp, hike, sail...all those outdoorsy things that give me hives. But they also have two kids....so why don't they ever have any garbage?

Between the two of us (and, of course, Cipher, the World's Most Amazing Cat, Screw You if You Don't Agree (tm)) Husband and I can pretty much fill our can each week....plus the recycle bin. But our neighbors? Rarely do you see them put their cans out on trash night. They often put out the yard clipping can. And every so often the recycle bin. But the actual trash can hasn't moved from the side of their house in over a month. Now I tell you, that's just not natural.

Maybe they compost. But that doesn't explain not having any actual garbage. Perhaps they have a secret goat in their backyard. But four people living in one house and never having any garbage is just plain weird. I tell you, it's un-American! The only way I can explain it is that they are aliens. They eat styrofoam. They have chicken bones for a midnight snack. When they watch TV, they sit down with a big bowl of empty toothpaste tubes, wet paper towels, and worn-out socks.

Really, they're very nice. For aliens.