Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Today is a wonderful day
I can't stop thinking about all the incredibly happy same-sex couples who have finally been allowed to get married in California. Those two handsome men are my best friend, Steve, and his partner, Stephen. Madly in love and never allowed to marry. It's too late for them. AIDS stole them from us more than 10 years ago. But they're looking down from gay heaven with two megawatt smiles on their faces.
I will always mourn the fact that I never got to be Steve's "Best Lady" when he married Stephen. I wanted to hold the ring, to stand by his side as he and the love of his life took their vows. So there's a bittersweet air to my celebration today. But then I look at all those wonderful photos in the paper and watch all that love on the news, and I cannot help but smile.
Ignoring all the brain-dead zealots who are protesting this "travesty of marriage," I find myself actually proud of my home state today. They have made so many people happy. So many families who for years have been bonded by heart are now finally, finally, bonded by law. Yes, there are still battles to be fought. And who knows what the conservative right will make of this (something awful, no doubt). But for now this is a historic day for all of us who are in favor of love, in whatever form it takes.
In many ways this is so monumental that it's hard to give it the awe it deserves. Marriage. For same-sex couples! It's something we hets take for granted. Hell, Pamela Anderson has been married 17 times in the past two weeks. But for two men or two women who love each other madly and who want to build a life together, it's always been a question of denial. I'm sorry, but Domestic Parter is separate and unequal. Nothing less that full marital equality is what's deserved of the thousands of same-sex couples in the US. And i hope this is the first step towards giving them the right to love.
Oh, and one more thing. I am fucking sick to death of all those conservative yahoos who say same-sex marriages aren't "real" because marriage exists solely for the procreation of children. To which I can only say: bullshit. Husband and I are straight. Husband and I are married. Husband and I have no intention of having children. We got married not so we could reproduce, but because we love each other and wanted to spend forever together. Does the fact that we're not going to have children completely invalidate a marriage? Should all intentionally childless straight couples be denied marriage? What about those wonderful couples you read about who get married in their 70s? They are obviously not going to be cranking out the kidlets, so why should we allow them to get married?
And I hate the phrase "starting a family." Husband and I started a family the day we got married. You don't need to add to the surplus population to consider yourself a family.