Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Now taking reservations for leftovers
So every year when I have to drag poor Husband to my mom's for a stomach-churning white trash Thanksgiving, we compensate the next day by having our own Thanksgiving the next day. We do the whole meal over again: turkey, cranberries, sweet potatoes, pie, you name it.

Well, yesterday I went shopping for our provisions but when I was looking at turkeys they didn't have anything smaller than 12 lbs. So I decided to try a different store later in the week and buy just a turkey breast. Then I went to the checkout. Because it was both bookgroup night and I was shopping for Thanksgiving, it was a pretty hefty grocery bill. And at the checkout, the nice lady said that this week, if you spend over $100, you get a free turkey. "Well, why not?" I asked myself. I hadn't bought one yet and this would save us some money. So I accepted. And off the bag girl trots to the free turkey bin and comes back with a fucking 15 pound frozen monstrosity. Really, the thing must be part ostrich. Or mastadon.

I couldn't actually refuse at that point (mostly because it was immediately put in a plastic bag and dumped into the under part of the grocery cart) so off I go with the Turkey That Ate Montana.

So now Husband and I, in our Thanksgiving dinner for two, now have about 7 pounds of turkey each we have to get through.

I am hereby inviting all our friends to join us on Friday for Thanksgiving, Part Deux. Seriously, if any of you want to come and hang out, have some dinner, play some games, listen to great music, and help us get through this mega-bird, we'd love to have you. Please. (Please?)

I shall now start clipping recipes for turkey soup, turkey pot pie, turkey tacos...

Fifteen pounds?!?!?!


Romain said...

Your story reminds me of Anne Lamott's essay "Ham of God" from her collection "Plan B". An early version of it appeared in
Salon a few years ago. Happy Turkey Slaughter Day (as Mike H calls it).

FinnyKnits said...

WOW. That is a LOT of turkey. Especially given that turkey is never the best part of the meal.

We had a 6 pounder (just breast, no legs or wings) between the three of us and still had a ton leftover.