Eavesdropping
Overheard at the grocery store 1:
Man on cell phone: I was watching the Giants game, but I think she said he died.

(Wouldn't that be something you might want to be sure about?)
.....

Overheard at the grocery store 2:
Woman to man, in produce section: Get some carrots and some apples.
Man: Aren't we out of bread too?
Woman: Did I tell you to get bread?

(Well that's a happy marriage.
.....

Overheard at the shelter:
Little girl: Look mommy, kittens!
Mom: Don't touch the kittens, Imelda.
Little girl: If I don't touch them how will we know which one alive?

(Um, they're all alive, genius girl.)