Sunday, July 18, 2010

Bad movies and good wine
Last night Husband and I polished off a bottle of wonderful Pinor Noir. Byron Winery, 2008, Central Coast. We neither of us drink that much so we both got delightfully sozzled. The occasion? Twilight

The horrible teen angst/vampire flick was recommended to me by two separate people with the same caveat. Get drunk first and you'll find it hilarious. They were right. It was one of the most truly awful movies I've ever seen but, under the influence of wine, so funny that at times we were laughing so hard we had to rewind to hear the wooden dialogue.

Husband and I are the last people in the US (with the exception of my family) to join Netflix and the opportunity to watch pretty much any movie we want has filled us with a heady sense of freedom. Plus we get unlimited streaming of thousands of films through our Wii, so it's heaven. We've watched the good (All About Eve) the bad (early Doctor Who episodes wich seemed like the prelude to several Monty Python sketches) and the ugly (Twilight). It's heaven.

We're both huge movie fans. In fact, our mutual love of old movies is one of the things that we first bonded over. Having instant access to movies for every mood is proving to be wonderful -- and getting in the way of housework, grocery shopping, and generally getting out of the house. Who wants to clean the shower when you can watch your own Gregory Peck film festival?

But every so often, you just have to reach for the cheese. The films you know are awful. We both love the classic making fun of movies show Mystery Science Theater 3000 and when we get together for something terrible, like last night's monstrosity, we crack each other up with our own version of MST3K. Husband is a hilarious guy and I've been known to be pretty funny myself at times, so when we get on a roll mocking a movie, we can truly hit some home runs.

Of course, it's hard to not be funny when you've got material like Twilight to work with. Wooden acting. Atrocious script. Hilarious plot. That, combined with good wine, is a recipe for a great way to spend a Saturday night.


Duke said...

My wife had Twilight delivered this week too. She watched it Friday afternoon. I tried to watch along but only made it through the first 15 minutes. OMG, what a piece of shit. I know it's intended for 12 year old girls but my gawd, is there no limits to how low they can sink?

I'd like to invite you and hubby to be friended on my netflix. If you're interested let me know and I'll post a join link to my blog. We can shoot little notes on movies back and forth and you can see my queue. You'll be amazed at the horrible crap I watch plus you might find a movie or two new to you. Just let me know.

The Calico Quilter said...

Mrs Duke here. I feel like I should add a comment to defend my usually good taste in movies. I only rented to Twilight to see what the heck the furor was about. I had read a few pages of the novel on Amazon when it was first published and found it to be unrelenting drivel, so I didn't have high expectations for the movie. But oh lord, was it awful. It was probably the worst use of film I have seen in years, and unfortunately I didn't have the beneficial effcts of alcohol to bolster me while just barely making it through to the end. By the time it was over I wanted to smack Kristen Stewart up side of the head for a) being such a terrible actress and b) sporting that unrelenting dour expression.

Decca said...

You two are so funny.

Mrs. Duke, our favorite scene was when they had dinner out and vampire guy was saying how he could read any mind but hers. "Of course you can't" Husband said, "her mind is totally empty." What a horrible actress.

FinnyKnits said...

I watched this atrocity alone, one night when Bubba was out of town on business, because I couldn't bear the shame of even watching it in his presence, but it would have been WAY more enjoyable if he'd been there so we could have participated in a very similar activity.

We call it the, "What I've learned from this" game.

We play it when we're watching something truly awful - whether that be a movie, TV show or commercial and it usually results in hilarious assumptions.

Example: Commercial for Axe body spray. What I learned from this commercial is that if I am a scrawny ugly teenaged boy and spray this crap on myself, women will want to eat my hair.

Imagine everything we could have "learned" from Twilight!

Perhaps that driving a Volvo isn't necessarily a turn-off for teenaged girls. Score for child molesters!

Sorry - that might have been too much.