Thursday, October 07, 2010

Now With Platypus Liver!

I find cosmetics marketing hilarious.

First off, I don't really understand it. Aside from an insane high school addiction to root beer lip gloss I've never worn make up. The only so-called beauty product I buy is moisturizer.

But most women wear cosmetics and advertising it is a huge market. But what gets me is when they suddenly announce that an ingredient you never heard of or never knew would make you beautiful is suddenly touted in TV ads.

Now with Platypus Liver! They'll proclaim. Really? Who knew platypus liver was good for you? The big thing seems to be random oil. New Like Me Mascara enriches your lashes with Aspidistra Oil. What the heck is aspidistra oil when it's at home?

Men's products don't seem to suffer from the same problem. You never see an ad for shaving cream that's now made with trout scales or oak cream.

And since I'm on a rant (and when am I not?) what is it with too many made-up flavors. Nothing is chocolate anymore. It's Belgian Chocolate Creme Originale. Vanilla Bean Tahitian. There's always one weird geographic reference, I suppose to make it more cosmopolitan. But it's too much. Canadian Caramel Dream is not a flavor. It's a stripper.


Duke said...

I think ice cream flavors are worse than chocolate for having made-up stupid names. Ben & Jerrys started it with their idiotic names but everyone is doing it now. You can buy New York Triple Fudge Chunk or White House Cherry. I've seen Tin Roof and other stupid names. It's all just ice cream with candy in it. I'd rather they just tell me the ingredients. What the heck is in Tin Roof? Metal?

Decca said...

Duke, I had to laugh at your example. That's the one Ben and Jerry's that I get! I remember tin roof sundaes when I was a kid. Vanilla ice cream with chocolate sauce and Spanish peanuts. Totally yummy. But I completely agree with you. I was at a friend's house and she had a B& J flavor called "Dublin Mudslide".