Sunday, December 05, 2010


I ranted a few weeks ago about this gigantic rat that ate my car and did $700 worth of damage. Well apparently sucking on my transmission wasn't enough so he decided he needed our Christmas decorations as an appetizer. Serves us right for not making chicken wings available for him. But hey, we ain't Hooters.

Husband and I got our Christmas tree today and went up into the loft in our garage where we store Crap We Only Use Once a Year. Like our huge suitcase (nibbled on). Our folding chairs (nibbled on). And our Christmas decorations (eaten).

Luckily our favorites are in a heavy-duty Tupperware container and suffered no damage. But the box containing our lights had a huge hole eaten out of the side, so we'll need to make sure the wires are OK before we string them. But we had a document box (with lid!) filled with some of our second-tier ornaments and Ratzilla ate himself a lovely door and then proceeded to go all a la carte on the contents of the box. I am sad to say that Santa has been eaten by a rat. We had a cloth Santa ornament and the little fucker ate all the stuffing out of him. He also shredded a small, dark blue cardboard box so everything else is covered in blue confetti. He also seems to have eaten the head off an angel. (Shame on him!)

Being an animal lover, I must confess to feeling guilty about setting about to kill something as sentient as a rat. I have no problem squishing spiders and am the scourge of any hapless ant unlucky enough to come into my society. But rats are cartoon characters and I was sort of upset when Husband and I put out lovely little trays full of lovely little ratsbane. But considering the $700 and the demise of Santa, I can only say the miscreant got just what he deserved.

I just hope he wasn't part of a gang.

Yes, at our home we support the death penalty for the consuming of angels and Hondas.


Linda Myers said...

While we were on vacation my son fed our potbellied pig. Son called me one morning and said, "Mom, when I went to feed Bud this morning, a big old rat ran out of his house. Is that something I should be concerned about?"

Well, I was concerned. But my husband wasn't, and apparently Bud wasn't either. Maybe he likes the company.

However, "set up rat trap" is on our list.

Duke said...

I've had rats that got fat on rat poison. Those bastards can be hard to kill. I've had good luck with traps. I've even trapped a few to release outside of town.

But I've killed my fair share too. It doesn't bother men because sooner or later it's a 'me or them' situation of them doing damage and spreading sickness. Rats are nasty creatures.

As a teen I had 17 pound tom cat that raised hell on rats. He'd kill them by the droves. We never had a single mouse or rat while he was around. On the other hand, Molly would let rats run over her head if they didn't make too much noise.

Duke said...

I meant "doesn't bother me" not doesn't bother men. Geez

Kittie Howard said...

I hate rats! I don't care how you get rid of the sucker, get rid of it! When we lived in Nairobi, a huge forest rat tried to get in bed and nibble on my toes. Chester and Chena killed him dead, in the bedskirt. I awoke to this sluping sound. I'm not gonna tell you what the mess looked like, just that I left the room (did I tell you hub was on a business trip?) and somehow slept out the night in another room. In the a.m., all that was left were the tail and a bit of skull.

We never had another rat. Chester and Chena got their green cards.

Did I mention that I don't like rats?