Beaches, books, and bliss
That will be the next week. My sweetie and I are off to Hawaii. I shall read until my eyes are crossed, relax, and generally get the taste of the Silicon Valley out of my mouth. See you on the flipside!

Hilarious!
Beware, this short film will have you laughing out loud. It's a parody about how the warning levels for the Department of Homeland Security were designed. Truly funny.

Foxy art

Belgian artist Francis Alys has a short "film" demonstrating the omnipresence of surveillance cameras. His demonstration? He brought a wild fox into Britain's National Portrait Gallery and used the security cameras to film it wandering through the empty galleries. "It spent more time in the Tudor room for some reason, possibly because it's darker, but I'm not sure I could confirm if there is a specific taste for one period or another."

The fox, named Bandit, is actually quite cute and it's amusing to watch him wander around. You can view the whole film here.

Books?
Along with my rant about how you can judge a book by its cover, I should have included a plea for book suggestions. I'm open to either fiction or non-fiction (depending upon subject), but I insist that it be a "thumping good read." I'm tired of wishy-washy characters, predictable plots, and just-plain-bad writing. I want something that keeps me up too late, turning pages and frantic to find out what comes next. With a week's worth of "doing nothing" vacation coming up, I need to replenish my to be read shelf.

Any suggestions?

You Can Judge a Book By Its Cover
The old saying, "you can't judge a book by its cover," is no longer true. I'm not meaning in the figurative sense as in you can't judge people by how they look. I mean the literal definition of basing an opinion of a book on the cover of that book.

I think the saying may have been true, back when covers were all either brown, black, or red leather with words embossed on it. I mean really, how much can you tell by that? Yes, all books used to look alike, and you couldn't judge by how they looked. But boy, you sure can now.

Ever notice how many contemporary books feature variations of photographs or drawings of shoes, feet, or legs? If you haven't paid attention, do so. Next time you're in a bookstore, wander over to the "new paperback fiction" section and you'll be amazed at the foot fetish that seems to have gripped American book designers. Mind you, I blame the advent of so-called "Chick Lit," a publishing craze that needs to die, right now. All these books look, and read, exactly the same. Late 20 or early 30-something women, either never been married or freshly divorced/dumped, wants to change her life/job/city of residence so she takes up yoga/becomes an assistant to a movie star/moves to Milan and hijinks ensues....usually after several hundred changes of clothing. Yawn.

I can and I do judge these books by their covers. I do not want to read any book that features feet or legs on the cover. Nor do I want to read a book that pictures a pencil-skinny woman looking longingly through any shop window, sitting in any cafe or restaurant, or wearing a little black dress and looking in a mirror. I judge those books by their covers. In most cases the plots are as shallow, uninteresting, and preditable as the cover art.

The phrase should have died out with the invention of the "bodice ripper." If you see a cover, any cover, featuring a long-haired, bare chested man grasping a blond vixen who cannot seem to keep her clothes from falling off and you know what you're going to get inside. You don't even need to open the book to know.

Am I too judgemental? Hell yeah, and damned proud of it. Do you have any idea how much money I save by not being books about feet?

Why???
Why hire a writer when what you want is a grammarian? They don't need me, or anyone else who has a skill with words. No. All they really need is someone who can put commas in the middle of their dull marketing crap.

Why preach creativity, and then shoot down anything even remotely creative? Why bother to do anything word-based if the words involved are boring and not something anyone actually wants to read? When did "different" become "inappropriate?"

People, if you don't want me, fire me. If you're not going to use me, get rid of me. But for god's sake, don't hire me with the promise of creativity and then tie my hands behind my back because you're afraid of rocking the damned boat.

I've been looking for a new job since my second week at this one, and I can't find anything. So....anybody in the San Francisco Bay Area in need of a writer/editor? I have lots of experience, great ideas that no one seems to want, I'm a kick-ass manager (ask anyone who used to report to me), I've met every deadline that's ever been handed to me, and I'm tired of wasting my time where I am.

Darwin in action?
In a New York Times article about those in Galveston who refuse to evacuate in the face of Rita, comes some of the most freakishly sterotypical "redneck" comments ever.

One guy says he'll fend off looters with his Marine Corps knife and then states, "I'm going to go rat hunting when this is over." Apparently in the past, storm surges have forced rats out of their nests in the sea wall.

Another man tried to leave but his car broke down. He took it as a sign from God. "On Thursday, Mr. Shumake and his nephew, Russell Cavender, 17, walked along the sea wall holding an American flag and another flag saying, "We Support Our Troops." Mr. Shumake, a stout man with a bushy goatee and a ponytail, said: "The Lord doesn't want us going. He wants me carrying this flag."'

Yeah, that's right, the Lord wants you carrying that flag. Um...exactly why would the Lord want you carrying that flag? So the dozen other yahoos who aren't leaving town and feel secure in the knowledge that you support the troops? Yeah, that's God's plan all right.

A shopkeeper who is staying put had this to say about dealing with potential looters: ""I checked with the Sheriff's Department to see if I could use my gun, and they said if I do, make sure he's dead." Ohhhkay.....

I don't know whether to laugh or be very, very scared. Maybe a little of both.

Got a few hours to kill?
Exploring the New York Public Library's Digital Gallery can easily take days, and you still probably wouldn't get enough time to thoroughly examine all the wonders therein. From Illuminated manuscripts to historic photographs, from sheet music to paperback book covers, from maps and blueprints to woodcuts and drawings....the collection is vast, gorgeous, fascinating and, best of all, free for us to look at. It's great stuff, folks.

Simon Wiesenthal
One of my personal heroes has died at the age of 96. There are so few people who actually practice what they preach, and who dedicate their lives to justice, regardless of the cost. Simon Wiesenthal was one of the few. How can you not admire somone who looses over 80 family members in the Holocaust, and who himself suffered in the concentration camps, and then says "I seek justice, not revenge?" He was a man of integrity, courage, and dedication....and those are such rare qualities. What an amazing man. I wish I could be one of those few...

While I was being a lazy slug...
My wonderful husband was at the Monterey Jazz Festival last weekend. Part 1 of his review is now up on All About Jazz.

Malian blues
Check out Kongo Magni by Malian singer, songwriter, guitarist Boubacar Traore. Great stuff. He's got a passionate, lived-in, felt the pain kind of voice, perfect for the blues and he's accompanied by a small combo including accordion, harmonica, balafon, and traditional percussion. It's honest, rich, and oh, so good.

Sounds like recovery
The fine folks at CD Baby (an online store for independent musicians) have come up with a great way to support hurricane relief. Thousands (no kidding) of their artists have volunteered to donate 100% of the proceeds from the sale of their music to the Red Cross.

If you don't know CD Baby, you should. They allow independent artists to market their music and receive a fair profit from the sales. Plus those of us who like to buy music benefit from actual audio samples that last longer than a sneeze. There are some great artists there, from a variety of genres. Come on....you'll get great music, they'll get new fans, and the Red Cross gets the money it needs to help save peoples' lives. Everybody wins.

NYT Columnist Blasts Bush
Three cheers and an amen for Bob Herbert on the President's apalling callousness, cluelessness, and general incompetence in the wake of Katrina.

Not an issue of color?
Yeah, right. Perhaps the initial neglect to provide buses or other ways for the poor to get out of town was based on economic status rather than color. It just so happens that the majority of the poor in New Orleans happen to be black. But I firmly believe the lack of resources to help those stranded at the Superdome and the Convention Center was based on color. I believe that if CNN was showing footage of cute little blond children with blue eyes and curly hair, crying from hunger and fear as they waited for help, that the government would have been there within 24-hours with food, medicine, and a plan to get them to safety. If thousands of middle-class white people had been stranded without resources, I think we would have gotten help sooner.

And what's with the white vs. black photos of "looters?" If a black person steals it's looting, but if a white person steals it's "finding food for his family?"

I think the Bush administration has a hell of a lot to answer for in this case. (Whose brilliant idea was it to cut funding to FEMA so we can fight terrorists? We've had a hell of a lot more natural disasters than terror attacks since 9/11.) I think disaster relief/management in general in the US needs a major overhaul. Why wait until after the storm to tell people where to gather? Why no provision for those who lack the resources to get themselves out of town? What should have happend is announcement for everyone who wanted to evacuate to get to the Superdome, and then bus them to safety before the storm. Certainly that would have been easier, cheaper, and far less traumatic for all concerned that to just say "get out" and leave the poor to fend for themselves.

I am angry, sickened, and completely ashamed of America at this point. And all I can do is give more money. That's pretty much all you can do too. If you haven't yet opened your wallet, do so now. The Red Cross seems to be the most likely place to donate, but there are hundreds of organizations rushing to aid those who have lost everything. You know you can afford it...and you know that you can afford more than you've given already. Do it.

Give
That's all, just give. If the horrific stories out of the south don't move you to open your wallet, you have no soul. The Network for Good has a list of charities that are working to help the victims of Hurricane Katrina. Everything from the Red Cross and Second Harvest to Noah's Wish and the North Shore Animal League which are looking out for displaced pets and wildlife. Please help.

I Need Some Good News!
Hurricanes killing hundreds and rendering thousands homeless. Looting. Hundreds dead in riots. A war that won't end. Gas prices going even higher. Housing prices continuing to rise.

Please, I need some good news. I need something to make me laugh, or at least make me smile. Something to reaffirm my faith in mankind. Something to wipe images of destruction out of my brain.

Doesn't anybody have any good news? Please, I'm begging you here.

We're Number 12! We're Number 12!
The United States ranks 12th among the 21 richest nations in the world for foreign aid. Denmark ranks as the most generous country in the world, spending 89 cents per person, per day, in government aid and one cent per person per day in private giving. The US spends 15 cents per person per day, In a world where more than 2 billion people live on less than $2 a day, it's shameful that we continue to spend billions on a pointless war while people are starving. Come on people, get out a crowbar and open up your damned wallets.

When was the last time you wrote a check to charity? You know you can afford it. $20 buck....that's a pizza. Give $20 buck to the Red Cross, or UNICEF, or AmFAR, or some other worthy organization. But it's up to those of us who have the money to take care of those who don't.

The Importance of Hating Ernest
"Reading Hemingway in Cupertino" is not as evocative a title as “Reading Lolita in Tehran,” but it nevertheless conveys my last lunchtime window shop excursion to a bookstore.

To begin with, I must state upfront that I am not a fan of Hemingway; neither his writing nor his plots. I know, I know, I’m a Philistine. But I’m a Philistine with an open mind, at least where books are concerned. When I say “I don’t like Hemingway,” it is as a college student forced to read “For Whom the Bell Tolls” for a class taught by a teacher whose name I will never recall, in spite of the fact that I have perfect recollection of his purple cardigan sweater and eternal licorice-breath.

But I’ve aged since then, and I thought it was time I give Hemingway another try. (I am discounting the “Moveable Feast” episode where I thought it would be “artistic” to actually take with me to Paris. It wasn’t.) So off I go to a bookstore to browse through their selection. I was intrigued by “To Have and Have Not,” because I love the movie so much – but I know the book is different from the movie and I decide against it for fear it would taint a great popcorn flick. “The Old Man and the Sea” has the element of brevity going for it, but I know the plot and I have no interest in either old men or the sea. (Apologies to Melville.)

I pick up “The Sun Also Rises,” and quickly put it down again, deciding I’m not really in the mood for a book filled with unpleasant drunk people doing unpleasant things to other unpleasant drunk people.

“Hemingway on Fishing?” Shoot me now.

Ah…”The Snows of Kilimanjaro and Other Stories.” Now there’s a possibility. I love Africa. Short stories take far less commitment than a novel, and I can get more plot variety.

I’m halfway to the check-out counter before I turn around and put it back on the shelf. I had one of those pre-buy epiphanies that so often save us from bad purchases. There amid the faceouts of "Dummies" guides, I realize that it’s ok not to like Hemingway. Maybe it’s because he’s a so-called “man’s writer” and I am happily penis-free. Maybe it’s because hating his short, staccato writing style that makes every sentence sound like a cough, is a perfect reasonable assessment of his skill as a writer. Maybe because I’m not in college anymore and I don’t have to read anything that I’m not genuinely interested in. Whatever the reason, I put Ernest back and happily wander over to the History section.

The Gospel According to Marcel Marceau
Sometimes there are just no words. Check out the gospel mimes. My vote for scariest Flash intro ever -- watch it and be very afraid.

How to you spell that?
I've always rather hated my extremely common first name (Lisa). But this article/forum by the BBC on the difficulties faced by those with hard to pronounce names makes me almost glad I don't have that problem.

I'd like something unusual, but easy to say. None of these riduclous spellings (Tyffanae?) or made up names (Shaweniqua), just something where I don't know 15 people with the same name.