I'm So Frickin' Hip...
...that I paid $300 for a watch that doesn't tell time. OK, it does, but you have to look at the side. The face is too fucking cool to do anything useful like, oh, what it's intended to do.
What pretentious yobbo buys this crap?
Oh, and in an unrelated note, check out Some e-Cards for a series of hilarious work-and-life-themed cards that you no doubt want to send to half the people you know.