There are two things that I always wanted to learn how to do when I was a kid and never did. These are two very important life skills that I never mastered.
1. That two fingers in the mouth piercing whistle.
2. Throwing food in the air and catching it my mouth.
The whistle is epic. You can hear it down the block. While you cringe when standing next to the guy at a Giants game, you secretly admire his ability to show his approval to the entire section. All you can do is clap and give a lame "woo hoo." You tried as a kid. You really did. All you ended up with was wet fingers and dry mouth. You asked friends. They did their best to give you lessons. And you never learned. Now you really have no need for the skill. You don't often hail taxis. You don't go to sporting events often enough. And your friends are rarely drunken enough to wander off so you need to call them home. But still...
Now, the food through thing. I've tried popcorn. I've tried peanuts. I've tried M & Ms. I popcorn seemed like the smart first choice as I'm not likely to break a tooth, or my glasses, when I miss. But I just don't have the coordination necessary to throw and catch. I've never managed that sleek, seal-like move when you casually toss a morsel up in the air and catch it your mouth with a satisfying crunch. I have never successfully every done this, and I still try occasionally. I'm sure if I ever did if it would go right down my throat and someone would have to call the EMTs. But, from time to time, I'll toss up a peanut and then, 10 seconds later, pick it up off the floor at it bounced off my nose.
Oh well, it's good to have dreams.